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bryan788's favorite FMLs
by Tjop / 04/15/2011 at 7:50am / South Africa (Western Cape) / Love
by Anonymous / 02/25/2011 at 7:17am / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Love
Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML
by peeved / 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by allgrowedup / 02/11/2011 at 10:10pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML
by Username / 12/23/2010 at 9:48am / Canada / Miscellaneous
by blueheron93 / 11/13/2010 at 9:25am / Germany (Hessen) / Kids
Today, I was home alone and it started to rain. It hadn't rained in days so I went out on my balcony and ran around. I felt great until I realized that my door had been swung shut because of the wind, and it had no handle. I had to wait outside in the rain for two hours. FML
by Anonymous / 10/06/2010 at 7:19pm / Brazil (Distrito Federal) / Miscellaneous
by uselessdad / 09/07/2010 at 7:48pm / Singapore / Kids
Today, during an early morning preflight check, I spotted liquid pooling under the aircraft. I rubbed my fingers in it and sniffed. Good news? No dangerous fuel or hydraulic fluid leak. Bad news? My copilot was too lazy to walk back to the hangar to take a leak. FML
by Flyboy / 07/18/2010 at 1:02am / United States (California) / Work
by effme / 06/01/2010 at 2:05am / United States (Oregon) / Work
Today, I was at dentist to get impressions made. The hygienist put way too much of the plaster stuff on the press. She put it in my mouth and asked if I was okay, I shook my head no and promptly vomited. It sat at the back of my throat and I could not spit it out until the plaster hardened. FML
by gpistas / 05/23/2010 at 2:08am / United States / Health
by dumped / 03/10/2010 at 7:12am / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I woke up on the floor after I fell asleep last night while counting my tips. The pennies stuck to my face and left large blue circles from the copper. The blue won't come off. I have my senior photos today. My appointment can't be rescheduled. FML
by uwbeautyqueen12 / 03/01/2010 at 2:15pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work
Today, while waiting to do a presentation in class I felt someone flick my back, but when I turned around no one was there. It wasn't until I got up in front of the whole class that I felt my bra slowly sliding down my body. Turns out that the "flick" I felt was actually my bra clasp busting open. FML
by thewordsicantsay / 02/25/2010 at 2:05am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 2Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's… 3Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his…