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Offline (the 10/24/2016 at 12:53pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4481
  • Number of comments : 173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

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bryan788's page activity

Visits<b>2simz</b> - the 07/29/2016 at 11:22pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 07/25/2016 at 6:51pm<b>GAeroNKissR</b> - the 07/14/2016 at 12:44am<b>aimbug</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 1:20pm<b>Googolman</b> - the 07/23/2015 at 2:16pm<b>that_average_guy</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 2:48am<b>Steffi3</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 6:42am<b>dtbaby01</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 7:35pm<b>TypoFairy</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:14am<b>miguelghs</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:55am<b>Gingerness23</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 2:34am<b>xnyletak</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 1:20am<b>troubledlace</b> - the 12/04/2013 at 10:19pm<b>hunteryager</b> - the 10/24/2013 at 7:51pm<b>Sriehl</b> - the 10/23/2013 at 11:32am<b>Oihana</b> - the 09/12/2013 at 5:45pm<b>angelitared</b> - the 08/26/2013 at 10:01pm<b>toaster012</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 5:04pm

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The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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bryan788's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a fight with my mother. Her idea of a birthday present to me is buying me a husband. Yes, buying. She told an asshat she found online about my trust fund, and now they're both trying to put together "the wedding of the millennium". She still doesn't understand why I'm mad. FML

Today, I woke up and found $30 slipped under my door with a note that read, "Please buy yourself a quieter vibrator. -Mom and Dad." FML

by anon / 09/09/2013 at 11:15am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, a week after my dad discovered Family Guy and started mindlessly repeating catchphrases from it 24/7, I finally lost my temper and told him how incredibly annoying it is. He just paused, turned to look me in the eyes, and said, "Shut up, Meg." FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2013 at 6:56pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

by justash12 / 08/25/2013 at 5:13am / United States (New Jersey) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my wife uttered the soul-crushing words, "But we're married now, why would we have sex?" FML

by ._. / 06/04/2013 at 8:08pm / United Kingdom (Bedfordshire) / Intimacy

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

by VDM / 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm / Kids

Today, I invited my boyfriend to come to an event to meet some of my friends for the first time. I had been raving about him for weeks, and everyone was curious to meet this "amazing guy" I'd been dating. He showed up in a Darth Vader costume because he thought it would be funny to embarrass me. FML

by JJLight / 05/26/2013 at 11:14pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have to defend my client in court. The defense that my client wants me to use is, "It's not a robbery if you have swag" and then goes on saying, "The judge is bound to let me go after he sees my swag." FML

by Anonymous / 05/22/2013 at 9:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I woke up to a disappointed boyfriend. He told me he spent an hour last night farting on my pillow to see if I would wake up with pink-eye. He's 23 years old. FML

by Anonymous / 11/20/2012 at 12:23pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I accidentally slammed a door on my own arm flab. FML

by Anonymous / 01/26/2012 at 11:45am / United States (Rhode Island) / Health

Today, my boyfriend met my dad for the first time. The first thing he said to him was, "You're an idiot for dating my daughter." FML

by nacho / 01/24/2012 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I took my kids to visit their grandma. At one point while playing, my youngest said "shit", so I admonished her. My mom snorted and told me to "stop being such a little bitch", because it will make my kids into "lame prisses like their mother". FML

by gloria77 / 01/23/2012 at 6:26pm / United States / Kids

Today, I drove into a cluster of dustbins thanks to my dozy cat who'd managed to get into my car, fall asleep, and wake up while I was driving to work. I lost control when I was startled by him staring at me in the rear-view mirror. FML

by Anonymous / 01/18/2012 at 6:30am / Australia / Transportation

Today, I went to a concert. Being 6'5" was a great advantage because I could see the stage from wherever I was stood. On the downside, I was used by people as a meeting point. FML

by jackgrant / 12/06/2011 at 8:01pm / Iran Islamic Republic of / Miscellaneous