brunogtz

Search for a member

brunogtz

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2098
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About brunogtz : hey, i'm an ear

brunogtz's page activity

Visits<b>maydayyparade</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:25am<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 4:24am<b>xMrsCarlilex</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 9:50am<b>its_jonny_bro</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 9:40pm<b>odod777</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 4:12pm<b>jalenlounis</b> - the 06/21/2014 at 6:05am<b>AndrewWeschke</b> - the 06/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Skylae</b> - the 05/29/2014 at 7:43am<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 04/19/2014 at 6:06pm<b>fixingme99</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 4:52pm<b>sCrEaMiNgToAsT</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 5:54am<b>Zombielanddd</b> - the 03/09/2013 at 12:44am<b>rosenkrieger223</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 12:19am<b>mbomb</b> - the 01/26/2012 at 5:23am<b>japcracker08</b> - the 12/01/2011 at 7:13pm<b>Cath1_1</b> - the 10/29/2011 at 12:36pm<b>Mikko8</b> - the 10/21/2011 at 2:49pm<b>forestsunshine</b> - the 10/15/2011 at 10:31pm

brunogtz's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of brunogtz's badges

brunogtz's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my boyfriend I loved him. He responded by fist pumping. FML

by Great. / 05/18/2012 at 11:05am / United States (Montana) / Love

Today, I really had to pee while babysitting. Normally this isn't a problem, except the kids were sleeping and going potty would wake them up right before their parents were due home. Desperate, I decided to pee in a cup in the kitchen and wash it down the sink. Their parents came home mid-stream. FML

by fired / 05/13/2012 at 2:26am / United States (Oregon) / Work

Today, I had to excuse myself from the classroom so I could have a quick wank. This was because I somehow got extremely horny during a lesson on frog reproduction. FML

by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the gym trying to impress a hot girl, so I put an extra 30 pounds on the bar, I lowered, pushed... and pooped. FML

by authorsubmit / 05/04/2012 at 8:49am / United States / Health

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love

Today, while at work as a cashier, I tried to be sweet and ID an elderly man buying a bottle of wine. He responded by calling me a "blind-ass bitch" and calling my manager for "harassing" him. FML

by zomg / 04/30/2012 at 5:24am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend wiping a booger off her finger and onto my lip. FML

by davincourt / 04/29/2012 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I told the hairdresser that my kid had cut my hair. I don't have kids. I was just really drunk. FML

by faux ma / 04/28/2012 at 11:06pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trolling in a chat room when someone said, quote: "He's just a no-life, unemployed loser still living in his mom's basement. Probably spends all day stroking his tiny dong and fantasizing about having a real girlfriend." I actually started crying because it was so accurate. FML

by pathetic / 04/23/2012 at 6:06pm / Poland (Mazowieckie) / Geek

Today, I watched as my neighbor walked to my front lawn, looked me right in the eye, and pissed on my mailbox. FML

by Anonymous / 04/16/2012 at 8:38am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

by lifeonfire12 / 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm / Canada / Intimacy

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

by Anonymous / 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm / France / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to pick my 22-year-old son up from the hospital, after he got blind drunk, got his hand stuck in a Pringles can, and got the bright idea of staggering to the local ER to get it cut off. FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2012 at 6:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Kids

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

by Anonymous / 03/25/2012 at 8:09am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous