britts95

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Offline (the 11/12/2014 at 2:00am)

britts95

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 1 December 1995 (20 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 585
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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britts95's page activity

Visits<b>tatteredshirt</b> - the 05/21/2016 at 4:20pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 3:53pm<b>jackthekeeper</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 2:04am<b>shanekicksass</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 4:55am<b>subhaan786</b> - the 10/09/2015 at 10:37pm<b>hich</b> - the 10/05/2015 at 3:08am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 10/01/2015 at 10:55pm<b>thom170</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 2:18pm<b>oloy</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 1:01am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 5:15pm<b>Raxy</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 8:19pm<b>MisSum182</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 5:56pm<b>StickyPickles</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 9:53pm<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 9:31am<b>Trollx</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 3:58pm<b>PerSueTwo513</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 8:12pm<b>ironhead</b> - the 09/07/2014 at 4:50pm<b>JillianBall</b> - the 08/15/2014 at 2:28pm

Fucked!<b>seeoseek</b> - the 09/10/2014 at 2:25am

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Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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britts95's favorite FMLs

Today, I bought a live lobster to have for dinner. When my four year old daughter discovered it in the cooler, she thanked me incessantly for finally getting her a pet. She now won't let "Mr. Shelly" out of her sight. FML

by meganmagee / 09/16/2013 at 2:47pm / United States (Georgia) / Kids

Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML

by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my husband wanted to try anal for the first time. His attempt to sound romantic was him saying, "Open your buns, the meat is ready." FML

by hamburger / 07/06/2013 at 5:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, being near-broke, I resorted to shopping at Walmart. Barely ten minutes in, an obese sack of lard posing as a human being shoved me away from the bacon I was looking at. I fell, busted my lip, then got screamed at by another woman for not watching where I was going. FML

by Anonymous / 06/22/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Health

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

by Anonymous / 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, one of my elderly swimming students ran into me at Walmart. Being a polite teenager, I said hi to him. He looked at me surprised and said, "Oh dear! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on!" I'll never forget the look on his wife's face. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2013 at 2:02am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at Walmart when I saw my grandpa in the next aisle looking at magazines. Wanting to surprise him, I ran up behind him and hugged him around the middle. Up close, I realized he wasn't my grandpa. FML

by Oops / 12/25/2012 at 6:17am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping at Walmart, when I saw a really good deal on some bacon. Before I could take any, a huge-ass woman stormed over, kicked my cart down the aisle, and snatched every single packet for herself. And I actually got upset over this. FML

by wtf is wrong with my country / 05/08/2012 at 1:57pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was verbally abused by a guy in a 4-wheel-drive twat-tank for listening to music on my iPod while I was "blocking the way." I was standing on the footpath waiting for a bus. At a bus stop. FML

by Dave B / 11/25/2011 at 1:59am / Reserved / Transportation

Today, I found out why you don't let your kids grab your arms while their hands are covered in glitter glue. Easy to get it on you, extremely painful to rip from your arm hairs. FML

by hairyarms / 10/10/2010 at 8:47am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, I searched myself on Facebook. I have a fan page made by some girl in Wisconsin. She has pictures of me on it. Can you say stalker? FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2009 at 8:21pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, I filled out an application at WalMart after being unable to find a job in three months. I just graduated from law school. With honors. FML

by Thistle / 09/11/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

by systeminitiated / 05/02/2009 at 12:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to see a therapist for the first time because I've been feeling depressed lately. I opened up and said everything that was on my mind. I really spilled my guts. After a good 30 minutes, her first question was, "Do you always talk this much?" FML

by Nathan / 03/23/2009 at 4:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Health