Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

briidontgive_

Search for a member

briidontgive_

6Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2145
  • Number of comments : 207
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About briidontgive_ : I'm briii , californiann, puertorican / nativeAmerican.
-Damn, Im never on this anymore, -___- But I'm coming back .

briidontgive_'s page activity

Visits<b>stryder9090</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 8:00am<b>jill97</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 10:53am<b>Bgrish</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 10:48pm<b>karacakal2</b> - the 12/19/2015 at 12:45pm<b>Host2phats</b> - the 11/25/2015 at 6:48pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/16/2015 at 6:58pm<b>Envy22</b> - the 10/24/2015 at 12:15pm<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/21/2015 at 7:47pm<b>Jaymojustmaybe</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 8:58pm<b>Sangogames</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 12:42am<b>cheesyfeet2001</b> - the 08/16/2015 at 3:46pm<b>Jiratias</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 7:00am<b>tiger820</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 1:51pm<b>FireDemon_101</b> - the 07/30/2015 at 2:15pm<b>TheChickenLord</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:52am<b>hantu69</b> - the 07/05/2015 at 1:11pm<b>Woody02284</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 6:14pm<b>izkiz</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 1:25pm

Fucked!<b>stryder9090</b> - the 02/11/2016 at 2:00pm<b>krazy789</b> - the 11/17/2015 at 12:58am<b>NoName011</b> - the 08/22/2015 at 1:47am<b>Jiratias</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 1:00pm<b>RA91</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 12:40am<b>Edogg215</b> - the 10/22/2014 at 11:15pm

briidontgive_'s FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

briidontgive_'s favorite FMLs

Today, as I was walking back inside I noticed my mop leaning on the wall next to my door. I picked it up and started slow dancing with it, imagining it was the girl I'm in love with. I didn't notice my neighbours bunched up at their window laughing. FML

#16041844
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13640) - you deserved it (32654)

On 05/04/2011 at 6:01am - misc - by anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boss friend-requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

#15796408
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11185) - you deserved it (50845)

On 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm - work - by asdfjkl (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house and we were just about to kiss. Until his mum walked in saying his girlfriend was at the door. I thought I was already there. FML

#15651710
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51712) - you deserved it (5150)

On 04/05/2011 at 2:48pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, my dad woke me up for the second time to get me ready for school. Wanting me to prove I was really awake, he made me sit up. As soon as he left my room, I dozed off and faceplanted my nightstand. FML

#15635738
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12496) - you deserved it (42922)

On 04/04/2011 at 1:36pm - misc - by Username - United States (Kansas)

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

#15627116
292 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51081) - you deserved it (14804)

On 04/03/2011 at 9:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I learned that when I leave skid marks in the toilet my wife uses my toothbrush to remove them. FML

#15598918
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36501) - you deserved it (48277)

On 04/02/2011 at 1:03am - misc - by Toothy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML

#15514877
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46434) - you deserved it (30321)

On 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm - misc - by rowie1311 (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

TODAY, I PRESSED CAPS LOCK ON MY LAPTOP AND THE KEY GOT STUCK. NOW ALL OF MY LETTERS ARE IN CAPITAL LETTERS. I HAVE TRIED EVERYTHING. FML

#15415559
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41498) - you deserved it (33342)

On 03/21/2011 at 1:32pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33978) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I had to sneeze really bad in a restaurant. To avoid sneezing on everybody's food, I turned my head to the side and sneezed, it just so happens a waitress was there serving a table. My nose went straight into her ass. FML

#13274666
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30719) - you deserved it (5825)

On 10/01/2010 at 9:06am - health - by Embarrassed - United States

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19034) - you deserved it (42344)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I took my brother and nieces to the zoo. Two of the lions at the exhibit were mating, so I said, "They're playing leap-frog." My 4-year-old niece said, "Looks like they're fucking to me." FML

#12663575
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50283) - you deserved it (15500)

On 08/21/2010 at 12:49pm - intimacy - by mc_dreamy - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730
313 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27586) - you deserved it (52215)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, my grandpa was wearing flip flops and white socks. He entered my restroom, and the moment he did it, I realized there was no toilet paper left. I felt too ashamed to interrupt his dump, so I waited for him to ask for paper, he never did and came out without socks. FML

#6695644
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32143) - you deserved it (5267)

On 12/10/2009 at 4:03pm - misc - by dayum (man) - Mexico (Chihuahua)

Today, I was taking a bath and out of boredom started making sheep noises. I then had a conversation with myself in farm animal noises. When I got out of the bath, I walked to my bedroom in my towel, passing the living room... where my little brother's soccer team burst out laughing. FML

#2637147
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23885) - you deserved it (73512)

On 06/05/2009 at 5:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



FML's blog

  • Eni's illustrated FML
  • Greetings worshipers of lines and colours! This week, with the help of a talented young illustrator we’re checking kids out. No, not like that. Damn, that sounded bad. We’re taking a different look a…

Friday 12 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: