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Offline (the 09/14/2016 at 4:53pm)



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 11 November 1970 (46 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4434
  • Number of comments : 204
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 17 posted

About briang959 : FML makes me LOL! I feel like I'm the only person on FML over 18. :) Wanna know more, feel free to ask.

briang959's page activity

Visits<b>Julyrain</b> - the 11/22/2016 at 4:04pm<b>declassified</b> - the 11/13/2016 at 12:00pm<b>chachi809</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 7:52am<b>LPS8585</b> - the 10/24/2016 at 10:41pm<b>Hammie126</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:35pm<b>Fluffyturtle21</b> - the 10/02/2016 at 10:25pm<b>Cadillac_kid_15</b> - the 09/29/2016 at 11:21am<b>max367</b> - the 09/22/2016 at 1:30pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 09/17/2016 at 8:46am<b>bannachelle</b> - the 09/09/2016 at 12:38pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 09/08/2016 at 6:47pm<b>glory4oleg</b> - the 08/30/2016 at 6:07pm<b>EevieBear</b> - the 08/15/2016 at 7:48pm<b>TheFeels</b> - the 08/13/2016 at 7:39am<b>IAm123</b> - the 08/08/2016 at 10:00pm<b>this_ghetto</b> - the 08/07/2016 at 2:14am<b>ASubtleHuman</b> - the 07/30/2016 at 11:43pm<b>slapstick1982</b> - the 07/23/2016 at 11:16pm

Fucked!<b>LPS8585</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 4:41am<b>ImKimitheEmo</b> - the 07/13/2016 at 5:03pm<b>eski2015</b> - the 02/27/2016 at 5:57am<b>pygmyfrog</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 2:45am<b>HighlandShadows</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 4:28am<b>Julyrain</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 7:11am<b>chaseafterwind82</b> - the 11/08/2015 at 10:14pm<b>fishingforubies2</b> - the 10/17/2015 at 4:56am<b>justolyvia</b> - the 09/06/2015 at 7:10am<b>imerichello</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 3:23am<b>dblogic</b> - the 07/18/2015 at 2:41pm<b>Sefolkerth</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 4:39am<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 4:09pm<b>lauralabia3</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:27am<b>chronicB</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 10:10pm<b>firefighterwife</b> - the 05/15/2015 at 7:43pm<b>DarksideDoll</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:34am<b>MrsPegg</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 9:37am

briang959's FML badges

One more and it's business time

You've received 68 likes on your profile. Kinky.

Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja

You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like things a lot, 20 times in fact

You have liked 20 FMLs and your Facebook friends are going to like the FMLs that you have liked. We like that.

See all of briang959's badges

briang959's favorite FMLs

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

by Anonymous / 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I moved in with my boyfriend because my parents kicked me out. He said that if I ever touch his "fucking apple jacks" he will "chop" my nipples off and feed them to the dog. FML

by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

by Idle_Twin / 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my college charged me for tuition for next semester. I graduated 2 years ago. I have a degree from a place too stupid to only charge current students. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Work

Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 9:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML

by Martine624 / 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

by Eternal Servitude / 05/02/2015 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

by coolster5000 / 05/02/2015 at 12:36pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because "God" told her to. I guess "God" didn't have any problems with me buying dinner first. FML

by wil / 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, a friendly game of Cards Against Humanity somehow ended in a screaming match, my best friend's mother pulling out her tits, and me getting bit in the foot by a dog. FML

by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was cuddling in bed with my boyfriend when he started squeezing me as if I were a ketchup bottle. He said he wanted my period to end quicker, and he honestly thought that would work. FML

by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my husband came too soon during sex. He then tried to pretend it didn't happen and continued. He humped me with a half-erect noodle for about seven minutes before I finally called him out. FML

by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was asked when my baby is due. My baby was due 6 months ago. FML

by sexybelly / 03/26/2015 at 4:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids