About briang959 : FML makes me LOL! I feel like I'm the only person on FML over 18. :) Wanna know more, feel free to ask.
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One more and it's business time
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briang959's favorite FMLs
Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML
by Anonymous / 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm / United States (California) / Love
by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML
by Idle_Twin / 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 11:31pm / United States / Work
Today, I found my 15-year-old son sleeping on the couch. I asked why, and he said he'd rented his room out to someone on Craigslist to make extra money, so he was getting used to sleeping in the living room instead. FML
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 5:19pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 9:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation
Today, I spent nearly two hours listening to our cleaning lady talking about her son's infected penis, her fear of dentists, how to catch and kill ducks, her husband's childhood and her supposedly murdered dog. She ended up crying and left without cleaning. FML
by Martine624 / 05/07/2015 at 5:56pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
by Eternal Servitude / 05/02/2015 at 12:54pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by coolster5000 / 05/02/2015 at 12:36pm / Canada (Newfoundland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML
by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by wil / 04/25/2015 at 1:55pm / United States (Tennessee) / Love
by ThatSlappinBass / 04/17/2015 at 10:00pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
by Keladrylady / 04/17/2015 at 8:47pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Intimacy
by Evra / 04/16/2015 at 1:04am / United States / Intimacy
by sexybelly / 03/26/2015 at 4:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Kids
- Today, my car broke down because someone stuck a dildo in the tail pipe. I'd parked in my driveway.… Today, I was at a frat band party dancing with my girl when I felt some liquid on my arm. Normally,… Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed…
- Today, and since forever, my boyfriend talks in his sleep. Last night, he told me, “I like you very… Today, I’m on vacation in Peru in the Amazonian forest. I woke up in the middle of the night to the… Today, at Toronto airport, the customs officer checked my passport, then called his colleagues to…