Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

11Fucked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 9610
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>Throggdor</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:58am<b>ptellini</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Logan526</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:46pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:26am<b>dcam13</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:01am<b>Higgy90</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:45am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:02am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:30pm<b>abNormal62</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 9:34am<b>jreed2296</b> - the 04/10/2015 at 4:40pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 10:46am<b>flyingmind</b> - the 04/06/2015 at 7:54am<b>tj4234</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 7:01pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 3:25am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 1:47am

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I walked into my bathroom, only to find no toilet paper and a piece of shitty wallpaper in the bowl. FML

#21350250
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26090) - you deserved it (2361)

On 02/05/2015 at 10:32am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (3933)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I showed my son the old trick of turning a calculator upside down and spelling "BOOBIES" on it in numbers. He laughed, then spent nearly 20 minutes trying to spell "COCKS", before giving up and hurling the calculator across the room. I wish my sperm had a warranty. FML

#21346989
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24247) - you deserved it (6181)

On 01/30/2015 at 7:51pm - kids - by 3722145 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35606) - you deserved it (3697)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML

#21346789
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29404) - you deserved it (3339)

On 01/30/2015 at 12:41pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I was getting a haircut. During the haircut, the barber cut her hand. She hesitated for a minute then continued to run her hands through and cut my hair with her bloody fingers. FML

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25563) - you deserved it (5195)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33398) - you deserved it (2647)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I witnessed my husband in the shower singing Chicago's "You're the Inspiration" to his penis while manscaping. I guess that's a bond we'll never have. FML

#21342844
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (3226)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:46am - intimacy - by LD - United States (Idaho)

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28988) - you deserved it (2532)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29167) - you deserved it (3755)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was diagnosed with gonorrhea. My dad's reaction was to slowly clap at the news then giggle at his own joke. FML

#21342311
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27912) - you deserved it (9477)

On 01/22/2015 at 3:23pm - health - by annoyed (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18165) - you deserved it (26429)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my father was playing with my son and his toy animals. He picked one up and said, "What is this? Some kind of African horse?" It was a zebra. FML

Today, I dragged my grill outside in the freezing cold to cook a steak for New Year's day. I left my spatula in the garage, and I set the still-wrapped steak on the grill. I was only gone 45 seconds, but that was long enough for my cat to open the wrapper and run off with my steak in his jaws. FML

#21328958
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26495) - you deserved it (6270)

On 01/01/2015 at 10:18pm - animals - by TaddM21 (man) - United States (Ohio)



Juliette Bubulle's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Juliette's illustrated FML
  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

Friday 29 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: