Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

11Fucked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10243
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>blackRose2015</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:12am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:31am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:53am<b>miaaxoxxo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:28am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:17am<b>trumpetsk</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:22am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Throggdor</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:58am<b>ptellini</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Logan526</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:46pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:26am<b>dcam13</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:01am<b>Higgy90</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:45am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:02am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:30pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom instructed me to never scream when being attacked by a rapist. Apparently it would only anger him, causing him to chop my boobs off and superglue my eyes shut. FML

#17853519
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36194) - you deserved it (2906)

On 09/28/2011 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Sabraynay -

Today, a man punched me for sleeping with his wife. Bewildered, I insisted I would never sleep with a married woman, to which he retorted "She wasn't my wife when it HAPPENED, dumbass!" I was assaulted for sleeping with my own girlfriend three years ago. FML

#17848518
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49143) - you deserved it (3774)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:53pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom tried to diagnose my sickness with advice she'd gotten from a dog magazine. FML

#17848312
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23157) - you deserved it (1986)

On 09/27/2011 at 3:25pm - health - by fml - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me a gorgeous ring that I fell in love with. As he slid the ring on my finger for the first time, he started moving it up and down my finger and making loud sex sounds, completely ruining the romantic moment. FML

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31965) - you deserved it (5211)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

#17737717
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28229) - you deserved it (11529)

On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found out that the engineers I work with believe that a woman with an engineering degree working in an engineering company is apparently equivalent to a "secretary for engineers." I am that woman. FML

#17734062
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29664) - you deserved it (3354)

On 09/13/2011 at 1:53am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got home from work to find my wife asleep in her easy chair with my two year old son asleep in a pile of torn-up paper. I soon found out it was my 1960s collection of a Superman comic book series that I inherited from my dad. It was worth well over $2,000. FML

#17731995
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39191) - you deserved it (4651)

On 09/12/2011 at 10:15pm - kids - by Randy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28122) - you deserved it (2579)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (3977)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was serving an incredibly rude woman at work. The ladder I had used to get her two pairs of shoes came crashing down, and hit my face and neck. She only bought one pair, and ten minutes later returned them after complaining they were too expensive. FML

#17687215
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27486) - you deserved it (2426)

On 09/07/2011 at 7:55am - work - by minimoonpie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I caught my husband farting on my wind-chime in an attempt to make it ring. It did. FML

#17668852
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29609) - you deserved it (4387)

On 09/05/2011 at 8:05am - misc - by Anonymous - Reserved

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41882) - you deserved it (2168)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, in a queue to the ATM, a hot girl was standing in front of me. The girl's boyfriend grabbed her ass. She turned around and slapped me. FML

Today, at work, I was walking to the back office, and I didn't know my manager was following me. After I walked through the door, without looking, I reached behind me to close it. Instead of grabbing the door handle, I got a handful of his crotch. FML

#17617939
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28795) - you deserved it (3463)

On 08/30/2011 at 12:46am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: