Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

17Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 12259
  • Number of comments : 159
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : www.atlastheaussie.tumblr.com
www.facebook.com/atlasaussie

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>TheGolfGTI</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 11:46pm<b>Artigedude65</b> - the 02/04/2016 at 10:38am<b>Koalabiter</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 6:07pm<b>atlien247</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 11:07am<b>yayhoo16</b> - the 02/03/2016 at 8:31am<b>paperbag77</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 7:02am<b>jill97</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 4:18am<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:32pm<b>klutzyduck1</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 1:28pm<b>toomanyidiots</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 12:08pm<b>rexism0408</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 5:51am<b>Steve97</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 12:22am<b>Stefan5678</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 5:06pm<b>marcranger</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 10:03am<b>Brian2911</b> - the 01/26/2016 at 7:57am<b>schreibergx93</b> - the 12/13/2015 at 11:20am<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 12/11/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Railroader</b> - the 12/10/2015 at 12:40pm

Fucked!<b>infantrysoldier</b> - the 01/30/2016 at 7:32pm<b>cuculagirl</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 6:04pm<b>apcsox</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 9:06pm<b>chuchusheep</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 4:34pm<b>crazy_loner</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 3:05pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/20/2015 at 1:00pm<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to grab a large kitchen knife from my son, after I heard him convince his friend to join him in cutting off his finger, so they could "be assassins like Ezio." FML

#21479950
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24985) - you deserved it (2861)

On 10/14/2015 at 10:29am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided to hang my $200 cocktail dress outside for faster drying after hand washing it. I learned that it dries much faster when torn into several pieces, courtesy a stray dog that randomly appeared at my house. FML

Today, I was supposed to start my new job. I had forgotten I had a doctor's appointment, so I called work early and told them I wouldn't be able to start until tomorrow. My boss then terminated my employment. I got fired before I even started. FML

#21474765
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12624) - you deserved it (28604)

On 09/30/2015 at 9:42pm - work - by No Job - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was having lunch and I started throwing crumbs at my friend at the other table. Then I accidentally hit the kid next to him. He got really mad and came over and hit me in the shoulder with a brick. A brick. He just had a brick in his bag. FML

#21474273
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25066) - you deserved it (8644)

On 09/29/2015 at 6:00pm - work - by horp - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at 8:00am, I walked into the kitchen and stubbed my toe. That's quite a normal occurrence, but this time, I stubbed it on my drunk, passed out, 53-year-old father's forehead. He's mad at me now and has cancelled my allowance. I'm 23. FML

#21473991
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21705) - you deserved it (8589)

On 09/28/2015 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anon - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while showering, I broke the cap off the shampoo. Not my shampoo, my roommate's. The $60 shampoo I swore I wouldn't touch. FML

#21473956
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10731) - you deserved it (32028)

On 09/28/2015 at 10:01pm - money - by GabyLeann - United States

Today, my dad introduced me as his pet orangutan. I'm a redhead. FML

Today, a 60 year old veteran hit on me by pointing to his white hair and saying: "Just because there's snow on the roof doesn't mean there isn't a fire down below." Then he told me vets eat free at Cracker Barrel. FML

Today, I caught my husband and the cat licking the butter together. FML

#21472345
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22727) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/24/2015 at 7:31pm - misc - by whatdidimarry (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I passed out in my kitchen and was woken up by my dog. Not because she was worried about me, but because my body was blocking her food dish. FML

#21471000
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20907) - you deserved it (2747)

On 09/21/2015 at 12:22pm - animals - by mayhemily (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

#21470966
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29277) - you deserved it (2981)

On 09/21/2015 at 10:45am - misc - by Gassy - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex when halfway through, he leaned over to grab his cup of hot coffee off the nightstand. He then attempted to drink it and spilled most of it on me. He never stopped thrusting the whole time, and wanted to continue after. FML

#21470947
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27758) - you deserved it (2969)

On 09/21/2015 at 9:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I heard my boyfriend telling a female friend that his ex was so gorgeous and out of his league that it made him feel inadequate, and so he now only dates within reach. She told him he's hot enough to have anyone he wants. 30 seconds later they were tongue-deep in each other's throat. FML

#21469110
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26542) - you deserved it (1838)

On 09/16/2015 at 7:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was signing with my deaf brother at a local McDonald's. We were having a laugh about a game we played last night when this morbidly obese woman waddled over to us. She was utterly convinced we were "talking shit" about her and made a scene about our "hand gestures." Seriously? FML

#21468899
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27999) - you deserved it (1403)

On 09/15/2015 at 6:31pm - misc - by Stairs? Noooooo - United States (California)

Today, a guy came into my gas station, showed me the gun on his hip, and asked me to kindly empty the register. My asshole boss claimed that because we live in an open carry state, and because the guy didn't point the gun at me, that there was no actual robbery and I just gave him free money. FML

#21467927
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31369) - you deserved it (2610)

On 09/13/2015 at 10:07am - work - by jobless (man) - United States



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: