Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brewmasterg

Search for a member

brewmasterg

11Fucked!

brewmastergbrewmasterg
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 30 December 1991 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 10230
  • Number of comments : 152
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About brewmasterg : Fuck food, I'd rather have tattoos.

brewmasterg's page activity

Visits<b>blackRose2015</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 9:12am<b>Rkikkas9713</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 9:31am<b>tralulilulalala</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:53am<b>miaaxoxxo</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 12:28am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 7:17am<b>trumpetsk</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 5:22am<b>marshm610</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 8:06pm<b>Throggdor</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 2:29pm<b>Mons</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 1:58am<b>ptellini</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 2:04pm<b>Logan526</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 6:46pm<b>tiwan</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 12:26am<b>dcam13</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 3:47pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:01am<b>Higgy90</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 8:47am<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 7:45am<b>LyonDetreny</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:02am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 1:30pm

Fucked!<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 04/12/2015 at 7:30pm<b>martin8337</b> - the 04/01/2015 at 9:26am<b>Steve95401</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 7:47am<b>EmsyyyRose13</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 8:55pm<b>a_nice_guy</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 2:52pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/10/2015 at 6:39pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/11/2015 at 7:18am<b>Tarlachia</b> - the 01/31/2015 at 10:29pm<b>S232Flash</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 6:31pm<b>Hamlet1971</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 3:07pm<b>ViperSe</b> - the 12/31/2014 at 7:30am

brewmasterg's FML badges

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

See all of brewmasterg's badges

brewmasterg's favorite FMLs

Today, I needed to pee at my friend's house. His bathroom door is often left closed even if there's no one in there, so I knocked just to make sure. His stepdad opened the door stark naked. FML

#21384435
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27305) - you deserved it (2324)

On 03/30/2015 at 9:52pm - intimacy - by oops (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a teenage girl with a selfie stick came into my workplace. She knocked down multiple displays while trying to take pictures, before leaving without making a purchase. I had to clean it all up. FML

#21383983
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31404) - you deserved it (2277)

On 03/30/2015 at 1:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45691) - you deserved it (3348)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, some well-meaning soul told me to just pray my depression away, which would be about as effective as praying away a knife in my shin. FML

#21382206
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23687) - you deserved it (3287)

On 03/27/2015 at 1:31am - misc - by an anon - United States (California)

Today my girlfriend of a month told me that the only thing keeping her from swallowing a bottle of pills is being in a relationship with me, because she doesn't handle breakups well. FML

Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML

#21381783
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39172) - you deserved it (3369)

On 03/26/2015 at 9:20am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was told by my boyfriend's parents to never come back to his house again, and was given a lecture about rule breaking. Apparently, curfew is midnight, and he isn't allowed to have girls over. This didn't sound so unreasonable until I remembered that we're both almost 30. FML

Today, I got fired for having a visible tattoo on my neck. The tattoo in question is a scar from a surgery I had 2 months ago. The same one paid for by my employer's insurance and missed 2 weeks of work for. FML

#21381191
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31681) - you deserved it (1882)

On 03/25/2015 at 8:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML

#21380083
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37016) - you deserved it (2234)

On 03/23/2015 at 11:43am - misc - by Mr. Sniffles - United States (Ohio)

Today, my younger sister stopped talking to me. I got engaged to my boyfriend of 4 years and apparently, she's been in love with him since she met him. Through me. She's 12. FML

#21380050
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34634) - you deserved it (2501)

On 03/23/2015 at 10:24am - love - by twelvie - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while waxing a client's chest, I forgot to have him turn his head. When I ripped the strip, I punched him in the face. FML

#21379638
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24785) - you deserved it (7923)

On 03/22/2015 at 6:32pm - work - by waxer150 - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (1988)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, as I was closing up at my sandwich-making job when a huge bus full of basic, snobby, preppy cheerleaders came in. They literally "can't even" decide what they want. FML

Today, I took my girlfriend to meet my parents. My dad thought it'd be hilarious to act surprised and ask me if I'd already dumped the girlfriend I introduced him to yesterday. She slapped me and stormed out of the house before my dad could tell her it was a joke. FML

#21378402
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32097) - you deserved it (2163)

On 03/20/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by not picking up (man) - Slovenia (Skofljica)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: