brenna805

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brenna805

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 7438
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brenna805's page activity

Visits<b>mattzawesome</b> - the 10/10/2015 at 9:58am<b>wi_party_boy</b> - the 07/28/2009 at 4:10pm

brenna805's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

brenna805's favorite FMLs

Today, I was eating a hamburger on the street when a pigeon came down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning, half of my burger was gone, and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

by fencernick / 04/22/2009 at 6:40am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, I told my morbidly obese teacher that he had mustard on his chin. He tried to wipe it off and I said without thinking "No, your other chin." FML

by anonymous / 04/21/2009 at 1:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom made me clean. I was dusting in the living room and heard gunshots outside the apartment. I dove on the floor and started crying and screaming. My mom walked in and informed me that the sound was her making popcorn. FML

by Chelsea / 04/21/2009 at 1:20am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to snack on some MandM's. I saw my dog sniffing something and realized one of my MandM's had fallen on the floor. To prevent my dog from eating the chocolate, I hurriedly snatched the MandM off the ground and ate it. When I bit down, I realized it wasn't an MandM. It was a dead beetle. FML

by Anonymous / 04/15/2009 at 9:22pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, I was walking through the park eating fries. There was an old woman feeding a few pigeons. They didn't seem too interested, so I threw some fries down as I walked by to try and help her out. About 2 minutes later, I heard screaming. A huge group of pigeons were attacking the old woman. FML

by Anonymous / 04/14/2009 at 10:07am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was so drunk that my friends put me to bed during a party. Later I find out that while I was passed out two of my friends came in and had sex while I was in the same bed. They tried to use me as a prop. Now my friends call me the love wedge. FML

by lovewedge / 03/08/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

by Noname / 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm / United States (Maryland) / Love