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brenna805

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brenna805
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5701
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brenna805's favorite FMLs

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39970) - you deserved it (7668)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my husband rescued our daughter's cat from a tree. She spent the next hour clapping and telling me how much of a hero he was. Last night at 2am I was awoken by meowing and had to rescue the same cat from the same tree, in the dark, and halfway down he shit on me. No one called me a hero. FML

#3767592
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44258) - you deserved it (4975)

On 07/15/2009 at 2:58am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11455) - you deserved it (57550)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was eating a croissant. After eating half of it and about to take another bite, a spider crawled out of one of the holes of flaky deliciousness and descended down a thread of web to the table, where it scuddled away. There was a whole family of them living in there. FML

#3755395
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55130) - you deserved it (3363)

On 07/14/2009 at 7:57pm - animals - by homedoggieo (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That sounded a little effeminate, but it smelled manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap, so I used it. Just now, I stepped out into the sun and found out what "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle. FML

#3639578
459 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57476) - you deserved it (30025)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63842) - you deserved it (4738)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in my car and a cute guy pulled up next to me. He looked at me and smiled, but in order to be cool, I pretended not to notice. I also pretended that I was listening to music and was completely absorbed in it, singing passionately. I wasn't even listening to music and my window was down. FML

#3531560
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5273) - you deserved it (70855)

On 07/06/2009 at 6:36pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little brother learned that breaking a glow stick and emptying it into someone's eyes does not help them see in the dark. It's a good lesson, I just wish he hadn't used my eyes to learn it. The doctor says the burning feeling should go away in 3 or 4 days. FML

#3503017
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47132) - you deserved it (4286)

On 07/05/2009 at 12:10pm - health - by blinded (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while on a run, I thought I'd run into a flock of geese in a field. Doing so, I learned that when you do this alone, the birds don't fly away, they attack. FML

#3485353
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10577) - you deserved it (55993)

On 07/04/2009 at 5:56pm - animals - by SwordFish8 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep while lifeguarding, thinking I could get away with it due to my sunglasses. When I woke up, I saw my boss waving at me. Apparently she'd been trying to get my attention for five minutes. FML

#3477927
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4669) - you deserved it (57059)

On 07/04/2009 at 11:24am - work - by Sleepy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was chatting with an amazing guy online. He was perfect for me. After five hours he told me he loved me and I said it back. So than we decided to trade nudes. I sent mine. Within two seconds my niece calls, laughing her ass off, telling me how weird my birthmark is. FML

#3442749
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11950) - you deserved it (91883)

On 07/03/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Uriah (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at the restaurant I work at, I gave a man back his change and told him to enjoy the sunny day. He replied by dramatically saying that the sun was his mortal enemy. Thinking he was joking, I asked him if he was a vampire. Turns out he has skin cancer. FML

#3420908
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41007) - you deserved it (14242)

On 07/02/2009 at 4:31am - misc - by Kristache (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother woke me up by saying "Good morning my sexually aggressive daughter. We're going to have an extremely uncomfortable conversation today." Our awkward talk consisted of her telling me that I'm a tease and am going to get raped. Why? She caught me making out with my boyfriend. FML

#3398607
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65127) - you deserved it (6230)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:33pm - intimacy - by wildthing (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in my new boyfriend's apartment for the first time. As I was flipping through his photo albums, I came across one full of disturbingly candid pictures of me. I found some as early as my trip to the state fair, three years ago. I met my boyfriend two months ago. FML

#3398201
395 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131240) - you deserved it (6162)

On 07/01/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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