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breezybree1996's favorite FMLs
by no / 06/24/2016 at 10:31pm / United States (California) / Love
by no / 06/24/2016 at 8:13pm / Australia / Intimacy
by anal-retentive / 06/23/2016 at 4:00pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 6:13pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was in a clothing store with my girlfriend. I saw the ugliest hat ever on a hat shelf, tried it on and said to my girlfriend, "Look at this ugly hat, it's absolutely horrible. It's even dirty." An old woman stood next to me said, "Well no wonder it's ugly, it's mine." FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 5:15pm / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard someone try to get into my back garden. I ran to the front door, opened it and shouted at whoever it was. I then saw a police officer appear, following the person who'd jumped my fence. I then realised I wasn't wearing any trousers. I'd shouted at the police half naked. FML
by Sammmmi / 06/22/2016 at 2:35pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had a horrible case of the flu. I have a fever of 102 degrees and I can't breathe through my nose. Choosing to sleep it off turns out to be enough for my mom to call me a lazy fuck and scream at me for doing nothing all day. FML
by Anonymous / 06/22/2016 at 8:36am / Hungary (Budapest) / Health
Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I said no, she started crying so much that her mom came out 5 minutes later and demanded that I give her daughter the dog. FML
by Anonymous / 06/21/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Missouri) / Kids
by dancingqueef / 06/21/2016 at 10:39pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I broke up with my girlfriend for another girl. This other girl helped me break up with her so we could date. After it was all done, she promptly rejected me and in front of everyone, saying how much of a douche I was for leaving my girlfriend for another girl. FML
by hlewrn / 06/21/2016 at 9:52pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML
by GoAggies / 06/21/2016 at 1:11pm / United States (Utah) / Geek
Today, I was giving a competitive dramatic speech. I got a little too into it and punched the ground to portray my character's anger. I must be one dedicated thespian because I was angry enough to break my hand. FML
by over_due / 06/21/2016 at 12:12pm / United States / Health
by Dangling / 06/20/2016 at 11:01pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I've just moved into a new apartment. It's also the day my big baby of a dog stepped on a rock and began yelping when I tried to touch his paw. He "suddenly" felt better after I carried him inside. Now everyone thinks I'm beating my dog. FML
by DogBeater / 06/20/2016 at 9:21pm / United States (Washington) / Animals
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…