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breezybree1996

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breezybree1996

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2601
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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breezybree1996's page activity

Visits<b>DedicatedNova</b> - the 04/30/2014 at 11:25pm<b>n_rosie</b> - the 03/02/2014 at 1:59pm

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breezybree1996's favorite FMLs

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22337) - you deserved it (1718)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love with. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

#21383831
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23821) - you deserved it (1625)

On 03/29/2015 at 10:13pm - intimacy - by sexisntfun (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my girlfriend hasn't spoken to me in a week, so I gave her a call. No reply. I texted her, and got a text back saying: "Sorry, dude. Better luck next time!" FML

#21383638
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18959) - you deserved it (1506)

On 03/29/2015 at 3:54pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36098) - you deserved it (2526)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28063) - you deserved it (1708)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an interview for an office job. As a requirement, I had to show up dressed for the job. My friend has worked there for years and told me it was casual dress. I wore jeans and a blouse. Everyone else had on business suits. Obviously my friend doesn't know what casual means. FML

Today, I was told at my babysitting job that I can't bring my toddler with me. My employer is my best friend. Now I have to find a babysitter for my kid if I want to babysit hers. FML

#21382250
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (2333)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:17am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after days of looking for it, I finally found the ring my boyfriend gave to me. It was on my roommate's finger. FML

#21381743
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30448) - you deserved it (2322)

On 03/26/2015 at 6:16am - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, after telling my audience of preschoolers and parents that I'd been performing magic since I was a kid in 1995, a 4-year-old got more laughter and applause than I did in my entire act by gasping, "1995? You should be dead by now!" FML

#21380814
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25357) - you deserved it (2489)

On 03/24/2015 at 4:52pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband used the vacuum cleaner. Proud of him for this first-ever initiative, I congratulated him. His second initiative was to stick the nozzle on my ass, yelling, "Liposuction!" FML

#21380706
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (4563) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 03/24/2015 at 8:58am - love - by chassezlenaturel (woman) - Belgium

Today, an old lady was walking behind me. She tripped and started to fall, so naturally I turned and outstretched my arms to catch her, but was too late. A man turned just in time to see an old lady on the ground with me with my arms stretched out. I now have a black eye. FML

#21380543
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (2174)

On 03/24/2015 at 2:58am - misc - by why me - United States (Georgia)

Today, I heard what sounded like water against my window, and I couldn't believe it was raining in Southern California at this time of the year. I then turned to the window to see a hobo peeing on my window. FML

#21380308
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29276) - you deserved it (2198)

On 03/23/2015 at 7:19pm - misc - by jumanji (man) -

Today, I overheard my dickhead dad telling my girlfriend she's too good for me, then asking if she wants to settle for someone like me. FML

#21378798
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (2177)

On 03/21/2015 at 4:55am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Aberdeen City)

Today, I turned in my homework. Too bad I accidentally handed in the printed answer sheet I found online to copy from. FML

#21377510
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52) - you deserved it (44658)

On 03/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by copycat - United States (California)



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