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brearayanne

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brearayanne

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1352
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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brearayanne's page activity

Visits<b>iammeorami</b> - the 09/13/2013 at 6:49pm<b>im_joking</b> - the 08/01/2013 at 2:50pm

brearayanne's FML badges

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The Mixer

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brearayanne's favorite FMLs

Today, I heard my sister screaming from the basement, "Don't you hit me, you asshole!" Knowing her boyfriend was over, I ran downstairs with my baseball bat, ready to smash the fucker hitting my sister. Turns out they were just playing Mario Kart and he rammed her off the edge of a bridge. FML

#21428714
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (3700)

On 06/19/2015 at 6:21pm - misc - by baberuth - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (3164)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (12301)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26768) - you deserved it (2417)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I heard a loud beep for over an hour. It didn't come from my phone or even an alarm of some sort. It was my son pretending to be a smoke alarm. FML

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend because I felt unappreciated. She found it appropriate to sarcastically say, "Oh no, how will I ever be able to open my jars?" FML

#21378617
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31163) - you deserved it (4475)

On 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm - love - by tumbleshay - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was helping out during the school play's interval. My head of year jokingly asked me to follow him around with these mini cocktail sausages for the rest of the school year. I thought it would be witty to reply, "Does that make me your official sausage holder?" FML

#21378332
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25037) - you deserved it (84)

On 03/20/2015 at 10:41am - love - by MirandaJones (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (156) - you deserved it (35)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35827) - you deserved it (3711)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML

#21319606
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32583) - you deserved it (3052)

On 12/18/2014 at 7:11am - misc - by subversivepanda (woman) - Guam

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend and I tried roleplaying a teacher-student during sex. We're both studying to be actors, so we ended up going into a really deep, emotional storyline that didn't end in sex at all. FML

#21284275
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37834) - you deserved it (11009)

On 10/24/2014 at 6:54am - intimacy - by too good - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, I walked outside to find my 3 year old daughter and her pet fish playing together on the swings. FML

#21203004
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39950) - you deserved it (4872)

On 07/08/2014 at 3:55pm - animals - by Jack00412 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my dad interrupted my job interview with a phone call, just to say "I fucked your mom." No shit, dad. FML

#21199559
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44664) - you deserved it (7110)

On 07/05/2014 at 1:53pm - work - by Anonymous - United States



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