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brat0064

Offline (the 04/23/2015 at 4:29am) | Search for a member

brat0064

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3536
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brat0064's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:30am

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brat0064's favorite FMLs

Today, I hid my parents' booze since I'd always thought their shitty behavior was due to drinking too much. Turns out they're just assholes. FML

#20756642
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52082) - you deserved it (8544)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by Acidic Donut - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I had to remove a glass bottle, complete with an ineffective pullstring, from a patient's rectum. He claimed that he'd accidentally sat on it, and later threatened to sue me for every penny if I breathed a word of it to anyone. Oops, looks like I just did. FML

#20752893
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51839) - you deserved it (5946)

On 06/28/2013 at 5:59pm - work - by DocKreso (man) - Croatia (Splitsko-Dalmatinska)

Today, it's been weeks since some asshat started placing gnomes in my front and back yards. I resorted to setting up cameras, which I thought had deterred the idiot, until I walked into my kitchen this morning and found two gnomes on the counter. Nothing on the tapes. I'm freaking out here. FML

#20742609
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60120) - you deserved it (3934)

On 06/23/2013 at 1:02pm - misc - by ilivealoneandwhatthefuck (man) - Guam

Today, I found out that my creepy neighbor paid a guy to install a camera in my bathroom. It's been there for three months. The guy he paid? My brother. FML

#20741960
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54268) - you deserved it (3133)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:37am - misc - by part time all the time - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband was in our newborn's room, holding and talking to him. I guess he forgot the baby monitor, because I overheard him say, "Wanna know a secret? Daddy kills people." I really hope he was just quoting Dexter. FML

#20732635
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58558) - you deserved it (4186)

On 06/18/2013 at 1:01am - kids - by imarriedanaxemurderer (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
441 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59472) - you deserved it (37126)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I found my husband farting on my pillows, bare ass. His only words were, "This isn't what it looks like." FML

#20707362
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51191) - you deserved it (4701)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:08am - misc - by Thanks Honey (woman) - United States

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30873) - you deserved it (65798)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, feeling the need to spice things up in our sex life, I dressed up in my husband's navy uniform jacket, hat, and a pair of heels. When he came into the room, he took one look at me and started laughing uncontrollably. FML

#20702628
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55613) - you deserved it (16874)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69644) - you deserved it (4261)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82004) - you deserved it (5586)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68275) - you deserved it (19334)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, while shopping for dresses, I found a really cute one that fit me really well, but not at all in the breast area. My grandma screamed "buy her some titties!" Everyone in the store looked at me. FML

#20693039
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48479) - you deserved it (4007)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:39pm - misc - by no boobies - United States

Today, I had to eat up a few specks of toilet paper to avoid spoiling "the moment" with my girlfriend. FML

#20692661
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64977) - you deserved it (14367)

On 05/29/2013 at 3:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was stuck home with a cold when my boyfriend's best friend sent me a text saying, "You doing alright?" I replied, thinking he was talking about my health. He replied, "I'm surprised you're taking the breakup so well." What breakup? Mine. He was ten minutes too soon. FML

#20690777
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55799) - you deserved it (3163)

On 05/28/2013 at 4:09am - love - by really? (woman) - United States (California)



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