brat0064

Search for a member

Offline (the 12/06/2015 at 8:44pm)

brat0064

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 4888
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

brat0064's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:30am

brat0064's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of brat0064's badges

brat0064's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my son's kindergarten teacher. Apparently my son asked a girl to marry him. After she said no, he stabbed her with a fork. FML

by Anonymous / 08/10/2013 at 12:02am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I came home a little earlier than usual, only to walk in on my dad frantically trying to remove a ballgag from my mom's mouth. FML

by NO NO NO / 08/05/2013 at 5:42pm / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my husband putting my anti-wrinkle cream on his balls. He said, "I thought it'd help." FML

by Serum / 08/05/2013 at 12:41pm / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to my girlfriend grinning at me, her hand on my junk. I grinned back, then looked down and saw blood smeared all over her hand and my junk. After I started screaming and crying, she laughed and said it was fake blood. She recorded everything. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 3:28pm / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy

Today, I met the most beautiful girl I've ever seen on the beach. I was nervous, but I just smiled and said, "Hey, you're really pretty." Then I let out a horrific fart. FML

by YouSoSmelly / 08/02/2013 at 9:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finally talked my boyfriend into going down on me. Everything went well until I came and instinctively gripped his head with my thighs. He panicked and we both rolled off of the bed crocodile-style. Now he's too scared to even have sex with me. FML

by whyeventry? / 08/02/2013 at 12:39am / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I tried to give my husband a striptease for his birthday. I wound up tripping over my own panties and nearly dislocating my shoulder. FML

by Anonymous / 08/01/2013 at 6:29pm / Mexico (Distrito Federal) / Health

Today, ten minutes into a blind date, my date said, "I don't mean to be rude, but... your face? It's the reason booze was invented." FML

by Anonymous / 07/19/2013 at 4:57pm / Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi) / Love

Today, I was at the park playing Frisbee with my friends, when I saw a boy sitting on a bench looking rather sad. "Hey!" I yelled, and he looked up at me. I lightly threw the Frisbee in his direction, and it hit him in the face. He was blind. FML

by WasntMe / 07/17/2013 at 7:15pm / United States / Kids

Today, my girlfriend was sitting on my lap at a birthday party. She thought it would be funny to fart. I came instantly. FML

by needsnewshorts / 07/15/2013 at 9:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I was teaching my daughter how to drive. We were passing by a merge lane; I told her to slow down and let a green car merge in front of us. She said, "Fuck the green car" and sped up, colliding with it. Apparently she didn't know that would happen. FML

by Anonymous / 07/14/2013 at 11:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Transportation

Today, at the doctor's, I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offered to help. We submitted them and the doctor called me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written, "Major cock craving disorder." The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

by Never Going Back To The Doctor / 07/04/2013 at 3:03am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I saw a little girl digging in the gravel inside the fireworks tent I work in. After she and her family left, I went and used my foot to smooth out the mound she'd made. In doing so, I discovered that she wasn't digging, she was burying. She'd pooped. FML

by brokeandhungry / 07/04/2013 at 1:18am / United States / Kids

Today, I saw my older sister for the first time in three years. We hadn't spoke since I found out that she was the woman my college boyfriend left me for. Unfortunately, our reunion was fueled by her two-year-old son's desire to meet his dad. My husband. FML

by Jenn / 07/02/2013 at 10:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I got shut in the walk-in freezer at work. I started banging on the door. My boss wouldn't come and open it because she didn't "play games". She thought I was kidding. FML

by anonymous / 07/02/2013 at 5:08pm / United States (Maryland) / Work