Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

brat0064

Search for a member

brat0064
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1262
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

brat0064's last visitors

Wizardo

brat0064's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of brat0064's badges

brat0064's favorite FMLs

Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML

#721846
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (159024) - you deserved it (9651)

On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's work to surprise him by speaking in Spanish, his first language. I've been taking classes secretly. He smiled, kissed me, and then finished telling his friend, in Spanish, that I'm boring and ugly but he's got nothing better going on. FML

#629360
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101958) - you deserved it (5196)

On 03/26/2009 at 8:02pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was taking the metro into DC for my internship. Two guys came in and started talking to each other in Arabic. One boy turned to the other said "Do you think shes cute?" The other responded "Her face is hideous but she has nice tits." I am fluent in Arabic. They were looking at me. FML

#622063
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74372) - you deserved it (3596)

On 03/26/2009 at 2:08pm - misc - by sweet (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I heard my boyfriend of 3 months talking with his friend, not knowing I could hear them. "Tonight's the night," my boyfriend says. "I'm finally going to tell her I love her!" I got really excited, deciding i loved him too. Then his friend says, "Awesome! But what about Kayla?" I'm Kayla. FML

#530298
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (211404) - you deserved it (13451)

On 03/22/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my parents were out so I invited my girlfriend over. It was the afternoon, and things started to heat up. We were having sex, and I was about to finish. Then I looked through the window, to see a construction worker (who was fixing the house next to mine) giving me a thumbs up. He's her dad. FML

#527563
358 comments

I agree, your life sucks (160938) - you deserved it (27701)

On 03/22/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Malta

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227
515 comments

I agree, your life sucks (226993) - you deserved it (29227)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went over to surprise my girlfriend of two years with flowers and dinner at her apartment. After I knocked, a handsome young man answered the door. Thinking I had the wrong apartment, I apologized, only to hear my girlfriend's voice call from the background, "Baby, who's there?" FML

#504108
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132368) - you deserved it (4960)

On 03/21/2009 at 1:33am - intimacy - by willywonks (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

#473847
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (116381) - you deserved it (11401)

On 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm - intimacy - by ufhdafuhds (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, while I was out to eat, I was approached by the restaurant manager. He told me that while he respected my personal choices, his patrons didn't feel comfortable with someone who used to be a man using the women's restroom. He thought I was a transsexual. I am a naturally-born female. FML

#424816
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (319975) - you deserved it (28081)

On 03/17/2009 at 9:24pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, our school had tryouts for chorus. Everybody sang a snippet of the song together until the teacher stopped us, saying it sounded awful. He singled me out and told me to sing alone. After I sang the part, he said, "Son, your gift to God will be silence." FML

#420059
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63778) - you deserved it (6726)

On 03/17/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sebastian (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (131443) - you deserved it (35667)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (164070) - you deserved it (32118)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was the only one in an elevator when an attractive girl came in, talking on her phone. She told her friend, "I have to go, there's a cute guy on this elevator." Before I could even react, she turned to me and said, "Sorry for lying, I really wanted to get off the phone with her." FML

#265039
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (219970) - you deserved it (12952)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:10pm - misc - by TuralSucks (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I went home for my grandma's 95th birthday. While there she noticed my new tongue piercing and asked why I would get it done. Before I could reply, my cousin says "So she can can make the boys happier when she's sucking on them." She's 9 years old. FML

#261877
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52807) - you deserved it (11149)

On 03/10/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by epictothemax - United States (Illinois)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: