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brat0064

Offline (the 04/07/2015 at 4:58am) | Search for a member

brat0064

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3491
  • Number of comments : 15
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brat0064's page activity

Visits<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 2:11pm<b>Furby94</b> - the 01/10/2014 at 6:30am

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brat0064's favorite FMLs

Today, I sat my son down for the sex talk. By the time it was over, he'd corrected me on several factual errors and told me what felching is. Now I remember why I never wanted kids. FML

#21340142
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31204) - you deserved it (6429)

On 01/19/2015 at 9:34am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35429) - you deserved it (6672)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me a screenshot of his phone's contact list, to show me the adorable photo of us he'd set as my contact image. I guess he didn't realize that a contact called "Side Babe" was just barely in the screenshot too. FML

#21325257
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35470) - you deserved it (2475)

On 12/27/2014 at 11:54am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my little sister randomly came up to me and said: "Aww, don't be sad. Even ugly people can get boyfriends." She then smiled, patted my back, and walked off. I wasn't actually sad before, but I am now. FML

#21324793
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31597) - you deserved it (2802)

On 12/26/2014 at 4:54pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southend-on-Sea)

Today, my mom got me a Christmas present. Since I'm a whovian, she thought it would be cool to get me what she thought was a sonic screwdriver. It was actually a dildo shaped as one. I opened the gift in front of my entire family. FML

#21323893
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33371) - you deserved it (3471)

On 12/25/2014 at 10:17am - intimacy - by whovian - United States (Maine)

Today, my brother and I woke up early to get a sneak peek at our Christmas presents. We found our parents having sex on the couch. FML

#21323779
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34450) - you deserved it (13428)

On 12/25/2014 at 4:13am - intimacy - by VCDUDE11FTW - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I walked into McDonald's with my mom, she glanced at me and said, "Smells like your future." FML

#21323487
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29733) - you deserved it (3624)

On 12/24/2014 at 6:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, I woke myself up by letting out a long fart. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't fallen asleep while on jury duty. FML

#21299443
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29707) - you deserved it (8045)

On 11/15/2014 at 8:25am - misc - by That_Indian_Guy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28698) - you deserved it (24096)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I wanted to spice things up in the bedroom with my husband, so I set up some Halloween torches to create a wild ambiance. Unfortunately our dickhead neighbours saw the glow, didn't remember that fire tends to give off smoke, and called the fire department on us. FML

#21287079
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32804) - you deserved it (6154)

On 10/28/2014 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by BurnedDown (woman) - United Kingdom (East Riding of Yorkshire)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32762) - you deserved it (4575)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37334) - you deserved it (3623)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at the mall with my young daughter. I hate pooping in public but I really had to go so I brought her in with me. Thinking we were alone, I started to go and my daughter yelled, "Good job, mommy, you're using the potty like a big girl!" I then heard laughing. FML

#21283795
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35980) - you deserved it (4430)

On 10/23/2014 at 2:43pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26606) - you deserved it (53224)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, my sister told me about her upcoming trip to Mexico. I asked her how she was going to do anything without knowing any Spanish. She told me she's "just going to read their lips". FML

#21272968
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31740) - you deserved it (2528)

On 10/07/2014 at 6:15pm - misc - by epic174 - United States



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