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  • Number of visits : 206
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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brandonator93's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

by Anonymous / 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, I sneezed so hard that I threw my back out. Now my back is in agonizing pain, and I can barely walk. FML

by TooYoungForThis / 06/30/2013 at 12:36am / Canada / Health

Today, my wife shaved her pubic hair so that it resembles Hitler's mustache. She won't stop referring to it as "the Clitler". FML

by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 8:50pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it, I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

by unforgettablee / 04/29/2013 at 3:08am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I had phone sex with my boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

by JRLJLS / 04/15/2013 at 5:09am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a serious argument and he stormed out of the house mad. Why? I wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of his knob. FML

by meeee / 03/21/2013 at 6:01am / United States / Intimacy

Today, when I got home, my child had three bruises. My babysitter's excuse? "She hit me first". FML

by Amanda / 03/10/2013 at 12:08pm / Canada / Kids

Today, I went to my daughter's room with clean laundry. I found her lying on her bed with a hand down her pants, totally zoned out and staring blankly at the Justin Bieber poster on her wall. FML

by parental failure / 03/03/2013 at 12:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to my Christian accountability partner from church to talk about continuing to maintain Christian values. We had sex. Oh, the irony. FML

by Badchristian / 04/05/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy