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boymeetsworld77's favorite FMLs
Today, my sister texted me, saying she was about to go into surgery. It's been a long time coming, and we've both been worried about what could happen. I texted "good luck" back. My phone autocorrected it to "goodbye" and I didn't even notice. FML
by Anonymous / 05/02/2013 at 12:49pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/01/2013 at 11:55am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited for my first date in a while, with a "tall handsome business man." Turns out he "doesn't feel emotions anymore", likes getting peed on, and "doesn't do condoms." Thanks, internet dating. FML
by Anonymous / 04/25/2013 at 11:10am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, after a few weeks of my friends pestering me to spend time with a mutual friend, I realized we had a lot in common. We both love shoes, peanut butter, and it appears that my boyfriend of three years is her boyfriend of four years. FML
by Stupid / 04/22/2013 at 2:58am / United States (Idaho) / Love
Today, my girlfriend left for basic training. I went to say goodbye to her at the airport. Only after I walked back to my car did I realize that she still had the keys. My extra set was back at the house, locked in. FML
by blank / 01/21/2013 at 4:55pm / United States / Transportation
Today, I witnessed my girlfriend and best "friend" getting intimate. In a dim-witted attempt to cover up, my best friend proclaimed, "This isn't what it looks like!" I might have given him the benefit of the doubt, had he not still been inside my girlfriend at the time. FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2012 at 12:04am / Australia / Intimacy
by My_Name_Is_Zach / 07/22/2012 at 11:48pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I got into a debate with my boyfriend over whether or not oral sex was considered sex. I stood firm that it was not. Apparently, he took this as permission, as later that night I walked in on him not having sex with my sister. FML
by oops / 07/15/2012 at 1:34am / United States / Intimacy
Today, after a particularly difficult late night workout at the gym, I decided to shower in the locker room. I must have passed out, because I later woke up naked, surrounded by police after someone called to report a dead body in the shower. FML
by wetandnaked / 07/09/2012 at 3:06am / United States (California) / Health
by moodyreallyrocks / 07/08/2012 at 8:30pm / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, my over-protective husband went into an extreme fit of jealousy at the sight of me breast-feeding our newborn baby boy. He's trying to make me bottle-feed our boy, because apparently it's "wrong" to let another guy touch my boobs. FML
by wife of a shithead / 07/06/2012 at 1:44pm / Norway (Oslo) / Love
Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML
by Anonymous / 06/29/2012 at 9:06pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by … / 06/28/2012 at 10:20am / United States / Intimacy
by MonCoiffeurAdoré / 06/27/2012 at 10:43pm / Miscellaneous
Today, I tried for 45 minutes to convince my psychiatrist to take me off my antidepressant. When he finally agreed to do so, I broke down into tears and sobbed uncontrollably for 10 minutes. Hello, increased prescription. FML
by purpleskylight / 06/27/2012 at 1:29am / United States (Kentucky) / Health