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bowtasticxx's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 01/01/2013 at 2:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love
Today, my twit of a husband admitted to falling for an internet scam involving a dead foreign politician, the promise of a share in millions of dollars currently stuck in a bank, and him having wired a large amount of our money to "bribe an official". FML
by Username / 08/04/2011 at 5:15am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 01/06/2011 at 1:03am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
by me / 12/19/2010 at 9:26pm / Bulgaria / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 12/16/2010 at 9:35am / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Kids
Today, while drinking at a bar with my girlfriend, my ex-girlfriend who I've been seeing on the side walked straight up to her, introducing herself as "the ex-girlfriend that he's been sleeping with for the past 3 months." FML
by Tim / 07/02/2010 at 11:43am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I had to catch a shuttle bus. I awoke to the sound of a car horn. I ran out in my boxers and saw a bus take off down the road. I chased it, thinking I had missed my bus. I realized I hadn't only when I saw frightened kids in the back of the bus. FML
by militiousroflcopter / 03/01/2010 at 5:04pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML
by unknown002 / 02/11/2010 at 8:25pm / United States (Kansas) / Health
by Goobie / 01/15/2010 at 2:24am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 5 year old lactose intolerant daughter decided to have some chocolate. The result: me cleaning the bathroom walls at 3am, finishing at 4:30am, and then start cleaning again at 5am when her stomach contents decided I had missed a spot. FML
by Widespread / 11/18/2009 at 3:43am / Australia (Queensland) / Kids
by youmakemesick / 11/12/2009 at 12:36am / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my mother-in-law gifted us with a new microwave. I told her it was too much and we didn't really need it. Her response, "I just want my grandkids to have food that tastes good for once." I'm a chef. FML
by badcook / 09/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 08/12/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Kansas) / Intimacy
Today, I was on the phone with my boyfriend. We were feeling a little naughty, so we started talking dirty. I was really into describing a sweaty sex scene, when I heard my dad cough. He had picked up the phone to make a call and had heard it all. FML
by Bucko321 / 03/29/2009 at 9:18pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
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- 1Today, I was fired for being late to work, even though the only reason I was late was because I had… 2Today, I've stopped smoking, lost 30 pounds, taken several painful tests, and checked my ovulation… 3Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went…