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boricualuv's FML badges
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
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boricualuv's favorite FMLs
Today, my husband and I both got smart watches. We were running around, acting like we were in a James Bond movie, having fun. Until our neighbors called the cops on us for hiding in their bushes. FML
by nykkymcallister / 05/18/2016 at 11:07pm / United States (Maryland) / Geek
Today, as I was walking my dog around the block, I fell in the splits position on wet dirt and ripped my pants right on the front. I then had to walk home casually holding a chihuahua on my crotch hoping I would not run into anyone. FML
by ER1C / 05/16/2016 at 8:35am / Canada (Quebec) / Animals
Today, my boss asked if I'd finished my work for the day. I've been binge-watching Game of Thrones this week, and I accidentally replied "Yes, Your Grace," British accent and all. He told me to stow my "sarcasm" or I'd be looking for a new job. FML
by Sir Davos of Shit Creek / 05/13/2016 at 4:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
by humanshield / 04/10/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, nearing the end of my pregnancy, I went to a local pool. While attempting to swim on my stomach, I turned a little to the left, and buoyancy took over and I ended up belly-up and flailing, causing a very large man to then laugh so hard, he choked. FML
by ciammmm / 04/07/2016 at 8:23pm / United States (Arizona) / Health
by Jmdezy / 04/05/2016 at 11:45am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 03/18/2016 at 4:56pm / United States / Love
by IhadToTakeCareOfTraumatizedFish / 03/03/2016 at 12:32am / United States (Texas) / Work
by jimmy_morton / 01/26/2016 at 1:20pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was talking to myself in the bathroom to remind myself of what chores I need to do. My husband overheard me and is now convinced that I was on the phone with someone. No amount of proof, logic or reasoning can convince him that I'm not cheating on him. FML
by ardea_alba / 01/01/2016 at 3:27pm / Russian Federation (Sverdlovsk) / Love
by zzarzzur / 12/29/2015 at 4:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I showed my husband a recipe for the meal I wanted us to make tonight. He saw cumin was an ingredient and broke into hysterics. By the time he managed to stop laughing, he gasped that he couldn't eat something "with cumin it" and broke down laughing again. FML
by Kisuke_Urahara / 11/29/2015 at 9:11pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, something must be wrong with me. Last night, my dick went limper than overcooked spaghetti while in my wife's mouth, yet today I popped a massive boner that you could hammer nails with, while cutting the grass. FML
by anonymous / 11/24/2015 at 2:38pm / Switzerland (Zug) / Intimacy