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boredSOLDIER's favorite FMLs
by Noname / 01/19/2009 at 5:26am / Canada (Alberta) / Money
by Noname / 01/18/2009 at 5:24am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
Today, all I wanted was stress-relief sex with the guy I sleep with. Instead, I was so exhausted from my day that he thought I wasn't into it and ended up just talking to me about what we're going to do after college. Trading a booty call for a meaningful and heartfelt discussion. FML
by Noname / 01/17/2009 at 3:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy
by Shantoya / 01/17/2009 at 2:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Love
Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML
by Perpetually F-ed. / 01/17/2009 at 9:25am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
by stellarshaun / 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Ohai / 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
by Gob / 01/16/2009 at 9:36am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous
by horny bastard / 01/16/2009 at 3:34am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by blegh / 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm / Switzerland (Ticino) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML
by agnosticstudy / 01/14/2009 at 11:03am / United States (Alabama) / Love
Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML
by diddlysquat / 01/14/2009 at 3:49am / United Kingdom (Wakefield) / Intimacy
by noname / 01/14/2009 at 1:33am / France (Languedoc-Roussillon) / Love
Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML
by Explicit / 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today my mom, bored lover of games and mysteries, bragged about outsmarting scammers by burning all…
- Today, I have my very first gynecologist appointment. I'm 15. My mom wants to "be on the safe side"… Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman.… Today, I went home early from a business trip to find my house covered with rose petals. Thinking…