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boredSOLDIER's favorite FMLs
by libraries are a girl's best friend / 07/19/2013 at 5:53pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/18/2013 at 3:01pm / Netherlands (Limburg) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
by anonymous / 07/17/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, my wife and I were having a fight, when she grabbed my car keys and threw them over into the neighbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restored '59 Belvedere and the keys can't be replaced. I've been looking for hours and I still can't find them. FML
by ronnieG / 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Love
by Anonymous / 07/16/2013 at 12:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work
Today, my 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri, so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said, "But dad, I'm not a virgin." FML
by Anonymous / 07/11/2013 at 10:24am / United States / Intimacy
by my honest father / 07/10/2013 at 12:33pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous
by cristy91 / 07/10/2013 at 12:01am / United States (Florida) / Love
Today, while leaving McDonald's, I threw a fry out the window to a flock of seagulls. I watched in the rear-view mirror as it landed in the opposite lane and about 60 winged rats descended upon the street, causing a truck to veer off the road and crash. FML
by John / 07/09/2013 at 10:48pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/03/2013 at 1:35pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by Neveragain / 07/01/2013 at 1:49am / United States (Florida) / Work
Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML
by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids
- Today, I’m in China for work. All my work is stored in my Google Drive, directly via the internet.… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, at 11:30 p.m., after a 5-hour train journey to get back to Paris carrying a suitcase that’s…