About borderlineasian : Just trying to get through high school.
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borderlineasian's favorite FMLs
by ColoredPencil13 / 05/10/2014 at 9:35am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
Today, I watched a little girl laugh while giving bread to some pigeons at a bus stop. A bus then arrived. All the pigeons moved out of the away, except one. Its head got crushed by a wheel, and some blood splattered onto the little girl's shoes, who then screamed. With laughter. FML
by B_and_W / 11/21/2013 at 6:35am / France / Kids
by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
Today, I witnessed an elderly lady getting mugged. I ran over to the guy mugging her and offered him the money in my wallet in return for him leaving her alone. The old lady snatched my money and ran away with the mugger. What the hell just happened? FML
by No money, mo' problems / 06/18/2013 at 6:01pm / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm / United Kingdom (Southampton) / Love
by XoxoChula / 03/22/2013 at 1:41am / United States / Miscellaneous
by Ian Artis / 07/12/2012 at 2:28pm / United States / Work
Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML
by Anonymous / 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm / United States / Work
Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML
by Alfie4 / 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy
by thefrightening1 / 09/05/2011 at 11:03am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was walking to school. I started running to catch up with my friend. I yelled her name, and she turned around in time to watch me slip on a sheet of ice, fall face first, and pass out. When she ran to my side, I unconsciously peed on her. FML
by anonymous / 10/16/2010 at 11:18am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by browniepoints / 02/06/2010 at 7:09pm / United States (California) / Love
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards that doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a maxi-pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a maxi-pad on my butt. FML
by Ian / 04/18/2009 at 10:24am / United States (Ohio) / Health
- Today, I was at the Five Guys in Cardiff, and I decided to treat myself by getting five portions of… Today, after spending five hours on the pond fishing, I put my final catch on the stringer that had… Today, I found out that the weird noise I thought was my cat ended up being my neighbor in my yard…