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boomHEADSHOTllll

Offline (the 07/26/2015 at 5:17am) | Search for a member

boomHEADSHOTllll

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Number of visits : 1327
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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boomHEADSHOTllll's page activity

Visits<b>jx88</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 7:49am<b>noelsom7</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 1:09am<b>FkMySugar</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 10:59am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 01/17/2015 at 12:03am<b>sam882</b> - the 01/06/2015 at 7:23pm<b>eminemineminem</b> - the 12/28/2014 at 8:59pm<b>AlliTheKat</b> - the 06/17/2014 at 11:28pm<b>dmcd_39</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 5:22pm<b>Welshite</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 2:34pm<b>AlexaWuzHere</b> - the 02/03/2014 at 1:55am

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boomHEADSHOTllll's favorite FMLs

Today, I pulled several socks from under my son's bed. I spent far too long trying to figure out why they were so stiff before I finally realized. FML

#21446754
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26589) - you deserved it (4509)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:04pm - kids - by Sad Mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to imagine myself savagely beating my cat to death, just to stop myself from getting a boner while a girl laid her head in my lap. FML

#21446710
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25945) - you deserved it (4529)

On 07/24/2015 at 8:12pm - intimacy - by strangely - United States (California)

Today, I was hanging out with my neighbor. He asked me if I wanted to play Twister, and I said no because I thought it would be weird. What was his response? "C'mon. You can leave if it gets sexual". FML

Today, for some reason entirely beyond my knowledge, Siri referred to me as "Sugartits". FML

#21444204
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22162) - you deserved it (2866)

On 07/19/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at a professional tennis match. The ball was hit extremely hard, resulting in it going into the crowd. And when I say crowd, I mean my face. FML

#21443966
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21432) - you deserved it (1785)

On 07/19/2015 at 10:36am - health - by Ouch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent hours cooking a big dinner for my parents for the first time. I guess I made the steak too rare, because when my dad cut into it, he said "Christ! This thing's practically alive!" and said a skilled vet could probably bring the cow it was cut from back to life. FML

#21443824
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (3355)

On 07/19/2015 at 1:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend thought it'd be hilarious to secretly swap her and my mom's numbers in my phone, then sexually tease me before going to work. I found out about the prank when I texted my "girlfriend", saying I was going to fuck her so hard she wouldn't walk straight for days. FML

#21443815
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28881) - you deserved it (3795)

On 07/19/2015 at 12:36am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, while trying to score a date, I almost made a girl pass out. No, I didn't try to chloroform this one. I just came across as so pathetic that she laughed hard enough to have an asthma attack. FML

#21443788
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23974) - you deserved it (2678)

On 07/18/2015 at 11:45pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I lost my virginity. The most memorable aspect of it wasn't the fact that my boyfriend finished after two thrusts, but rather the fact that he first said, "The pilot has entered the cockpit." FML

#21443446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25801) - you deserved it (2783)

On 07/18/2015 at 7:09am - intimacy - by henhouse - Australia (Victoria)

Today, while walking down the street, a truck hit a puddle and splashed me with water. After I cursed and flipped him off, he put his truck in reverse and splashed me again. FML

#21443362
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (8707)

On 07/18/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by supersmashpika (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my son was planning on going clubbing. I disapproved, but no matter what I say he never listens, so I simply offered him some condoms so he doesn't end up knocking anyone up. He just said, "Nah, dad. Get 'em drunk enough and it's anal all the way." FML

#21443327
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28226) - you deserved it (4476)

On 07/18/2015 at 1:00am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed the most awful park job ever. Without thinking, I found a piece of paper and wrote on the back, "Nice park, asshole". Turns out it was an old airline boarding pass, and my name, address and phone number were neatly displayed with the message. FML

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

#21442690
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31552) - you deserved it (4198)

On 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm - kids - by anonymous - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I accidentally texted the girl I like, "Oh god, I just choked on a boner." I meant bone. FML

#21442630
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (4287)

On 07/16/2015 at 3:22pm - misc - by Boneo and Juliet - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I went downstairs early in the morning to watch a movie. As I walked into the living room and reached for the light switch, I heard my dad say "Knew you'd change your mind. Get them panties off." followed by the sound of a zipper being undone. I've never been so mortified in my life. FML

#21442030
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32963) - you deserved it (2319)

On 07/15/2015 at 12:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)



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