About bmmondi95 : Aggressive cuddler
Joining the navy! Whoop whoop
If you're reading this please buy me an R34 GT-R VSPEC ll I promise I'll love you forever?
About bmmondi95 : Aggressive cuddler
bmmondi95's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
bmmondi95's favorite FMLs
Today, my boss gave me the job of dealing with the guys doing the roofing at our store. His reasoning is that since we're all Hispanic, I'm perfect for the job because "You guys all know each other." FML
by -_- / 04/22/2015 at 11:06am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
by Anonymous / 03/20/2015 at 12:56pm / United Kingdom (Glasgow City) / Work
by Why? / 03/05/2015 at 5:34pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML
by love and tolerape, apparently / 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm / India (Jharkhand) / Intimacy
Today, I had my midterm finals for AP Literature. My teacher had good news and bad news for us. The bad news? That he lost the file for our original exam and so had to make a harder exam for us. An exam he told us not to study for. The good news? "Jesus Christ suffered and died for our sins." FML
by subversivepanda / 12/18/2014 at 7:11am / Guam / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss at my new call center job said he'd gotten complaints about me. Apparently I sound "too black" and it's "upsetting" some of our customers. I don't know what that even means, but my boss said I need to "tone it down or we're gonna have some problems". FML
by WTF / 12/03/2014 at 4:21pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by subduedbeast / 10/27/2014 at 2:48pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 10/26/2014 at 6:35am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML
by Anonymous / 09/20/2014 at 11:03am / United States (Washington) / Love
Today, I took my girlfriend to a local drag racing spot to get her more involved with my friends. Her ex showed up and wanted to race me. I won the race, but blew my engine. I had to use his dad's towing service to get my car home. FML
by Anonymous / 12/25/2013 at 1:27pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I started a sport journalism degree. I was the only female out of 60 students. The lecturer started talking about how we should all aspire to become sports editors of national newspapers. Later, he said women have no chance of ever becoming sports editors. FML
Today, I talked to my father for the first time in several years. I proudly told him that I have been attending Beauty School. He looked me up and down and said, "Doesn't look like you've learned much." FML
by beautyschool22 / 06/11/2012 at 7:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by mary / 02/21/2012 at 10:33am / Australia / Health
by messyvictor / 01/28/2012 at 11:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by bad luck? / 01/19/2012 at 12:44am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
- Today, my fiancé threatened to break up with me if our dog couldn't be the best man at our wedding.… Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic,… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between…