Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bmkc4

Search for a member

bmkc4
  • Town/Country : La La Land, United States
  • Title : Madam
  • Birth Date : Monday 9 July 1984 (29 years)
  • Number of visits : 487
  • Number of comments : 174
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About bmkc4 : I'm the crazy cat lady with 4 beautiful kids and a wonderful husband. I'm pretty straight foreword. That's about it.

bmkc4's last visitors

AllornoneumakemesicMooishMeowcolasCagemagiczebraGunniefriferntien

bmkc4's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

bmkc4's favorite FMLs

Today, I was finally able to drive my brother's nice car instead of my clunker, because he left for college. First thing I do? Back into the neighbors' mailbox while exiting the driveway. FML

#19853674
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4846) - you deserved it (26771)

On 06/27/2012 at 12:20am - misc - by GirlOnTheFly (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I discovered my children had found my vibrator and buried it in the cat's litter box. FML

#19850668
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17594) - you deserved it (8323)

On 06/26/2012 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Heather (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter tried to sneak out of the house. When I caught her, she freaked out and punched me in the face. She then "snapped out of it" and claimed she was sleepwalking. FML

#19842330
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23766) - you deserved it (3133)

On 06/25/2012 at 12:08am - kids - by abbielane - United States (Michigan)

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

#19833560
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20719) - you deserved it (3718)

On 06/23/2012 at 10:59am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Ireland (Cork)

Today, I was so out of it from a lack of sleep and an accidental antihistamine overdose, I tried to offer my cat a cup of tea, and actually got pissed off when he didn't reply. It took me a good five minutes to understand what just happened. FML

#19817936
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20011) - you deserved it (5500)

On 06/20/2012 at 10:09am - animals - by anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I asked a coworker what she'd bought her dad for father's day. She said that she got him some flowers, and I laughed because I thought it was a rather feminine gift for a man. I later found out that the flowers were for his grave. FML

#19812720
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7898) - you deserved it (35157)

On 06/19/2012 at 1:20pm - work - by hc11bmd (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my parents made a list of all the things they could have done had I not been born. FML

#19812575
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27641) - you deserved it (2692)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by theunborn - France (Midi-Pyrenees)

Today, I was having a debate with my friend over tattoos. I used the example that you wouldn't put a bumper sticker on a Ferrari. He looked me in the eye and said, "Yeah, but you're no Ferrari. More like a Prius." FML

#19801481
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8533) - you deserved it (19404)

On 06/17/2012 at 1:01pm - misc - by kitty shah - United States

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant. She hadn't even called me; I saw the news on my Facebook news feed. FML

#19799062
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26517) - you deserved it (1811)

On 06/16/2012 at 10:08pm - misc - by mystery - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42756) - you deserved it (2007)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35077) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, I walked in on my wife masturbating. Naturally, I asked her if she needed some help. She replied, "Nah, I've got this." FML

#19783126
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22977) - you deserved it (14719)

On 06/13/2012 at 5:30pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML

#18834443
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32880) - you deserved it (2876)

On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)

Today, my two year old daughter did not want to leave the toy store, when I picked her up she started screaming at the top of her lungs, "YOU'RE NOT MY DADDY!". FML

#4156027
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50586) - you deserved it (2934)

On 07/30/2009 at 7:34am - kids - by Herdad (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my mom and I went to Winn-Dixie. I told her I was going to a different isle 5 minutes later I hear my name on the intercom to go to the front of the store. As I go I see my mom crying, she comes and hugs me and tells me she thought I was lost. Im 22, I had my cell phone, and I drove there. FML

#992222
248 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117468) - you deserved it (6621)

On 04/15/2009 at 2:38pm - misc - by SwimSquid (woman) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: