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bmba94's FML badges
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bmba94's favorite FMLs
Today, a coworker and I pulled a April Fools' joke on our boss. She "borrowed" his keys and rolled down his window. I took a car window from a scrap yard and sprinkled it on the ground near his door. His response was to kick the nearest object in anger. The nearest object happened to be my car. FML
by TecheyTim / 04/01/2015 at 1:46pm / United States (New York) / Work
by billy / 03/31/2015 at 6:54am / United States (Massachusetts) / Health
by noantiquesforme / 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by soontobewidow / 03/28/2015 at 5:20am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Intimacy
Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML
by Anonymous / 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I handed out 20 resumes to a variety of stores. To my delight, I got a phone call the same day. Unfortunately, they weren't calling about a job, they were informing me on my resume it says, "I have a dick." All thanks to my boyfriend, who thought it would be hilarious. FML
by mareecasellafml / 03/27/2015 at 5:51am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 03/26/2015 at 2:36pm / United States (Washington) / Health
Today, my school had to make an official announcement that students were not permitted to go home due to Zayn Malik leaving One Direction because so many girls were claiming they couldn't focus on school with such a dramatic event occurring. FML
by Anonymous / 03/26/2015 at 9:20am / United States (California) / Work
Today, I shouted, "Fuck off!" out of reflex when I felt someone behind me grab my bag and pull it off my shoulder. It turned out to be an elderly man with a walking stick, who was trying to steady himself in a busy crowd. FML
by Li / 03/23/2015 at 9:04pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
Today, my teacher took my test along with another student's and gave us both a zero. Why? Because we both have colds so when we breathe through our nose it makes a sniffle noise. She thought we were using a secret code to communicate by sniffling. FML
by Mr. Sniffles / 03/23/2015 at 11:43am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, while my in-laws were visiting, my two-year old accidentally pushed the door wide open while I was sitting on the toilet. My mother-in-law laughed, took out her cell phone, snapped a picture of me and posted it on Facebook for everyone in our family to see. FML
by Mary C. / 03/22/2015 at 9:58pm / United States (Illinois) / Kids
Today, I made a speech in front of my entire graduating class and their families, despite my fear of public speaking. It seemed to go well and I got a big round of applause at the end. Then I panicked and instead of waving, I lifted my arm straight out in a Hitler salute. FML
by oooooops / 03/22/2015 at 8:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by tobuscus9412 / 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by tumbleshay / 03/20/2015 at 9:32pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, I had to bail my drunk dad out of jail after he beat the shit out of a mime artist. All he had to say on the matter was "Fucking bastard was playing mind games." and that he'd beat him up again if he could. FML
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…