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bmba94

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bmba94
  • Town/Country : Brampton, Canada
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 1798
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss let me know that I'm being laid off, via a text message that ended in "lmao". FML

#21043231
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44108) - you deserved it (3250)

On 01/28/2014 at 5:36pm - work - by soon to be unemployed (man) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, at work teaching a cooking class, one of the kids asked if they could use a knife to help me chop vegetables. I said no, because it was very sharp and only staff members are allowed to use them. Just as I said that, the knife sliced through the tip of my thumb. FML

#21042937
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37039) - you deserved it (9736)

On 01/28/2014 at 12:06pm - health - by just the tip, though - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was eating at a Chinese restaurant, when I stopped the waitress to tell her that even though I am of Chinese heritage, I can't understand a word of Chinese. After an awkward silence, she told me she was actually speaking English. FML

#21042741
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37571) - you deserved it (13681)

On 01/28/2014 at 6:16am - misc - by ChickenBallsPlease (woman) - United Kingdom (Norfolk)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me because she found some lesbian porn on my computer. Her reasoning? That I must secretly be gay. FML

#21042109
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42269) - you deserved it (9163)

On 01/27/2014 at 6:32pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, I woke up after a night out partying only to find I'd wet the bed. I was so ashamed that I rolled my girlfriend into it to avoid taking the blame. FML

#21042040
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20515) - you deserved it (54272)

On 01/27/2014 at 5:31pm - misc - by :( (man) - Algeria

Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML

#21040159
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42332) - you deserved it (8327)

On 01/25/2014 at 11:29pm - kids - by mom - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my friend I would pay him to ask out the ugliest girl he knew. He asked out my girlfriend. FML

#21039900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23427) - you deserved it (46230)

On 01/25/2014 at 7:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my mom asked me when I'm going to propose to my girlfriend. Not only was she in the room at the time, I've spent the whole week thinking of ways to break up with her without ending up in the hospital. 5ML

#21038079
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (4176)

On 01/24/2014 at 10:11am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was applying for jobs online when my father called. When I told him what I was doing, he said in all seriousness that I should just be a sugar baby. I said he must be joking, but he replied, "Honey, if I had your tits, I'd never work a day in my life." 5ML

#21037822
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39843) - you deserved it (3996)

On 01/24/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was spending the day at my place. Later on, I walked in while she was making lunch. She had a jar of mayo in her hand, and I joked, "I have some mayo, but it doesn't come from a jar." She had a bluetooth headset on, and was in a call with her father. 5ML

#21037484
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36976) - you deserved it (20294)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, and for the past week, my dog started barking at my door when I start masturbating. I think my mom is starting to suspect. FML

#21037288
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (8405)

On 01/23/2014 at 4:06pm - intimacy - by fappy dog - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home from the army and explained to my family how tough it was there. Then, as I was walking away, I stubbed my toe on the couch, fell and cried. FML

#21036979
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40932) - you deserved it (13762)

On 01/23/2014 at 7:53am - misc - by MarBlu - United States

Today, my girlfriend told me the reason why my credit card mysteriously maxed out 2 months ago 'might have been' because she posted a picture of it on Facebook. I ordered a new credit card without the custom picture of us immediately. She broke up with me. FML

#21035364
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48716) - you deserved it (5351)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:59pm - love - by FacebookStrikesAgain (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my plans for having sex with my girlfriend were thwarted for the sixth time in a row by my own mother. I found out later that she's been reading my texts so she knew when to drop by and ruin everything. FML

#21035329
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44822) - you deserved it (8209)

On 01/21/2014 at 6:26pm - intimacy - by MM - United States (Maine)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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