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bmba94's FML badges
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
I like your style
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You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
bmba94's favorite FMLs
by SOTS4335 / 05/16/2015 at 6:16pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend decided to suddenly stop in the middle of sex, just as I was actually starting to enjoy myself, just to bear hug me and exclaim, "Crikey, she's angry!" in the voice of Steve Irwin. He laughed so hard at his own joke that he went soft and couldn't continue. FML
by Anonymous / 05/16/2015 at 5:11am / United Kingdom (Aberdeen City) / Intimacy
Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML
by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 8:50pm / United States / Kids
by Anonymous / 05/15/2015 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by nazirah4shizzle / 05/15/2015 at 3:54pm / United States / Intimacy
by ptarr12345 / 05/14/2015 at 12:26am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids
Today, I got a friend request on Facebook. It's from the person who crashed into my car earlier in the month. It's funny that she doesn't return my calls or messages, but liked my status about the accident. FML
by iamgodzilla / 05/13/2015 at 10:55pm / United States (Maryland) / Work
Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML
by Anonymous / 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm / United Kingdom / Health
by -_- / 05/13/2015 at 12:00pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm / India (Delhi) / Intimacy
by MedChew / 05/08/2015 at 8:46am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I got busted by a cop for having sex in his car. When the cop sent us on our way, we went home and the garage was open, so we called the cops thinking someone was in the home. No one was in the house, and we got the same cop. FML
by Bonnie and Clyde / 05/07/2015 at 10:18pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I finally worked up the courage to tell my dad about my worries for my mental health. He then told me about the tracking device the aliens had implanted in his hand when they abducted him. There's nothing like family. FML
by flibbertigibbet / 05/07/2015 at 4:56pm / United States (California) / Health
Today, I was talking to a cute guy at my house party and had to fart. Luckily, it was silent. Unluckily, he smelled it, thought my house had a gas leak, and ran to the basement to check the pipes and ensure our safety. FML
by anonymous / 05/05/2015 at 1:41am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…