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bmba94

Offline (the 05/26/2015 at 3:35am) | Search for a member

bmba94

3Fucked!

bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10192
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>Mae342</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 1:55am<b>NozomiTojo</b> - the 05/06/2015 at 2:37pm<b>XxNekoLovexX</b> - the 05/01/2015 at 5:23pm<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 4:01pm<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:50pm<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:45pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dariboy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>FrontRowSquad</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:14pm<b>mif</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:39pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:32am<b>Yarecho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Scheffy213</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:41am<b>sweatynate</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:20pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:02am

Fucked!<b>Mae342</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:55am<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:01pm<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:41am

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get a physical, forgetting I'd shaved my pubes the day before and still had bad razor burn. My doctor told me I had "dicken pox" and was prescribing me with shaving cream. FML

Today, I finally got the girl of my dreams' phone number. After texting her "Hey, is this Stephanie?" I got response saying "Sorry bro, I know how you feel, she did the same thing to me." FML

#21371084
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (151) - you deserved it (2527)

On 03/09/2015 at 9:55am - love - by generic_name123 - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I moved into my new apartment. As I sat in my living room watching Netflix, I found out that my window has an excellent view of my new neighbors, who just so happen to like to shag with the blinds open. I guess I'll be buying some curtains. FML

#21370722
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26635) - you deserved it (2794)

On 03/08/2015 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by curtain buyer - United States (New York)

Today, I decided to show up early for work and really try to get off my manager's shit-list. On my way to work, my manager called to bitch me out for already being 30 minutes late. Yeah, I forgot about Daylight Savings Time. FML

#21370481
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31869) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/08/2015 at 12:42pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my little sister complained about a young boy in her class always pulling her hair. She asked when boys will stop doing it. My mom replied, "They won't, even when they're grown-ups," then looked over at my dad and shared a dirty smirk. FML

#21369959
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (3264)

On 03/07/2015 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by greatly disturbed - United States (California)

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

#21369938
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32628) - you deserved it (3042)

On 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm - misc - by killme (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my mom found out I'm failing three classes. Now she won't let me go to a convention I bought passes for weeks in advance. Each pass was $45, and I bought 2 more for my friends. You do the math on that, because I apparently can't. FML

#21369220
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16160) - you deserved it (41089)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:20am - misc - by Byepax (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while flirting with a cute nurse at my dad's bedside, I accidentally let a noxious fart slip out and she thought the foul smell came from my sleeping father soiling himself. I let her roll him over and check his ass while he cried out in pain because I wasn't man enough to own up to it. FML

#21369082
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39) - you deserved it (137)

On 03/06/2015 at 1:18am - health - by UncleMonkey (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mother walked in on me watching porn. As punishment, she sat down and made me watch the rest of it with her as she gave play-by-play commentary. FML

#21368964
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43278) - you deserved it (19596)

On 03/05/2015 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my teacher reached over to hand me a paper. I thought it would be funny to flinch and say, "Dad, please don't hit me". Unfortunately, he didn't think it was a joke, so I got questioned by the on-campus officer. FML

#21368562
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14329) - you deserved it (42705)

On 03/05/2015 at 9:32am - misc - by jlol - United States

Today, I went to the doctor, because I've been having stomach pains and nausea for weeks. He ended up gravely telling me I'm pregnant. I freaked out and panicked about what my parents would say. Then his laughter reminded me that I'm a guy. A really stupid one. FML

#21367918
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50) - you deserved it (121)

On 03/04/2015 at 10:03am - health - by actually just constipated.. and stupid - Tunisia

Today, I noticed that my son was less excited about losing a tooth than normal. I asked him what was wrong, he said, "Tyler told me that the tooth fairy died yesterday in a car accident." To which Tyler replied, "You're welcome." FML

#21367147
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29230) - you deserved it (2413)

On 03/03/2015 at 8:14am - kids - by Mommycakes (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while walking out of a store eating a candy bar, a homeless man tried to run up and steal my candy. I stuck a leg out and tripped him. The only thing I could think of to yell at him was, "Swiper no Swiping". My kids have ruined my coolness. FML

#21366982
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90) - you deserved it (24)

On 03/02/2015 at 11:57pm - misc - by Dad (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed my ex was feeling down. We ended things on good terms and I've been wanting to start things up again, so I figured I'd bring him dinner to cheer him up and maybe hang out. Looks like he and his one night stand get to eat my home cooked food while I go home to Netflix. FML

Today, while laughing at a jogger that fell down while running, I choked on my French fries. They had to give me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

#21366627
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13951) - you deserved it (48790)

On 03/02/2015 at 3:40pm - health - by teapotrevolt - Canada (Manitoba)



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  • It's the weekend so let's plaster on a fake smile and plough through this shit one more time. Sorry, I was channelling Bill Hicks there. I'll start again. Hi everyone, how are you doing? This week…

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