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bmba94's FML badges
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bmba94's favorite FMLs
by stink / 06/30/2015 at 10:40pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
by Anonymous / 06/30/2015 at 8:56am / Turkey (Istanbul) / Love
Today, I found an unfamiliar ring in my purse. Thinking it was fake, I gave it to a little girl. Thanks to my mother, I later found out that the ring was my grandmother's and it was made of gold and had a real ruby. My mother added that my grandmother trusted me to keep it in our family. FML
by AddictiveAddicted / 06/28/2015 at 10:02pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids
by fat and broke / 06/28/2015 at 3:17am / United States (Washington) / Transportation
Today, I wore flip-flops to work. Just as I walked onto the elevator, they made a sound very close to that of a fart. About 10 seconds later, some asshole let out a silent but deadly fart, earning me a bunch of disgusted looks. FML
Today, another idiot was admitted to my hospital with a foreign object up his ass. Yet again, the excuse went along the lines of "I tripped and fell on it." Please, someone tell me how you can accidentally trip anus-first onto the end of a cucumber, which just so happens to have a condom on it. FML
by Idiot says "HIPAA violation" / 06/26/2015 at 9:21pm / United States (Virginia) / Work
by thatguy8878 / 06/26/2015 at 4:41pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, our outgoing boss told us about guy who's replacing him, saying he's very nice but very anal about things. Without thinking, I shrugged and said "Anal's not bad." Now everyone's calling me Anal-Girl. FML
by very analytical / 06/26/2015 at 3:56pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work
Today, my mother woke me up by putting a beer on my face. After 15 minutes of her telling me to "just take a sip" and me rejecting it, I finally did just to shut her up. She then yelled at me for giving in to "peer pressure". FML
by Good Parenting? / 06/26/2015 at 12:38pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, the new girl told me that a guy at the back of the class was being creepy. I looked over and saw him picking his nose and flinging boogers at the girls sitting in the front. That guy is my boyfriend. FML
by sweetsixteenyay / 06/25/2015 at 3:16pm / United Kingdom (Caerphilly) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML
by VHBJ / 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
by justin Bieber / 06/15/2015 at 10:49am / United States (Michigan) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 10:26am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML
by silverspud / 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy
by BrakesNotBumpers / 06/12/2015 at 5:09pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Transportation
- Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend,"… Today, my vegan girlfriend refused to give me a blowjob because, apparently, blowjobs aren't vegan.… Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me if I don't satisfy his "needs." By "needs", he…