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bmba94

Offline (the 02/21/2015 at 8:59am) | Search for a member

bmba94

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bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7402
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:31pm<b>MissyPastaCreeps</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:08pm<b>pinkgreenyellow</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:09pm<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00pm<b>avecave99</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:16am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:53pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 2:10am<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:17pm<b>hobbs96</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:11am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:31pm<b>FanofGames</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:33pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:29am<b>singer0421</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:00am<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:40pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:13pm

Liked!<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:41am

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to explain to my grandmother why, "What a nice singing voice! He doesn't sound black at all!" is not a compliment. FML

#21336801
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30865) - you deserved it (2568)

On 01/14/2015 at 2:18am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, we got a new Roomba. I set it to clean and came back an hour later to find shit smears all over the floor. Apparently, one of my cats had done his business in the kitchen, and the Roomba had dragged it around the entire first floor of my house. FML

#21336619
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32640) - you deserved it (5240)

On 01/13/2015 at 8:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Delaware)

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33015) - you deserved it (3580)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my little brother walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex and threatened to tell my parents. I paid him $30 to keep quiet. 15 minutes later he told them. FML

#21335701
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32813) - you deserved it (11753)

On 01/12/2015 at 11:43am - intimacy - by bowler99 - United States (New York)

Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24666) - you deserved it (6731)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29979) - you deserved it (5894)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32053) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (26416)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26352) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind: "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

#21334531
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24190) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/10/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I found three of my sister's dildos as I helped her unpack boxes for her new house. Jokingly, I said, "Why would you even need three?!" She actually explained. FML

#21334501
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30823) - you deserved it (10226)

On 01/10/2015 at 2:02pm - intimacy - by sisterlylove - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried baking my own bread to save food money. Unfortunately I screwed it up, prompting my wife to look at me pityingly and say "Wow, can't get even bread to rise." before walking out. I have erectile dysfunction, and she constantly insults me like this. FML

#21333974
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38917) - you deserved it (3051)

On 01/09/2015 at 3:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, the dry skin on my feet has gotten so bad that my boyfriend uses my feet to itch his legs when we're cuddling. FML

Today, I found my sister licking all of the silverware and putting it back in the drawer. FML

#21332979
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28976) - you deserved it (2125)

On 01/07/2015 at 10:13pm - misc - by awkwardpineapples - United States (Michigan)



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