bmba94

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Offline (the 06/28/2016 at 7:19am)

bmba94

6Fucked!

bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17280
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>BirdMockingBlack</b> - the 07/05/2016 at 2:06pm<b>leigh_xx</b> - the 04/30/2016 at 10:57pm<b>Miss_Chevious</b> - the 04/04/2016 at 9:50pm<b>TheNoNameGuy</b> - the 03/08/2016 at 9:01am<b>StaceeeP</b> - the 02/20/2016 at 8:18pm<b>nickie_94</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 8:04am<b>Technastar</b> - the 01/09/2016 at 5:39am<b>mikotomisaki</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 9:04am<b>Litarius</b> - the 12/16/2015 at 7:15pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 1:55pm<b>Big_Bawws</b> - the 08/18/2015 at 12:49pm<b>OysterPearls</b> - the 08/09/2015 at 1:55pm<b>k_lylepad</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 2:55pm<b>trellz17</b> - the 08/08/2015 at 11:23am<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/27/2015 at 3:01am<b>chilldude69</b> - the 06/26/2015 at 8:18pm<b>w0nd3rl4nd</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 9:24am<b>sandraaa03111217</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 5:11am

Fucked!<b>buckdharma</b> - the 10/16/2015 at 7:55pm<b>FitFriday</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 4:54am<b>YBae</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 2:41am<b>Mae342</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 7:55am<b>Krystal3408</b> - the 04/27/2015 at 10:01pm<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:41am

bmba94's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of bmba94's badges

bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, my secret crush, who sits next to me in Bio, asked if he could borrow my notes. I agreed. It was only after he drove away, with my notebook, that I realized that in the back of my notes, I had written his name 100 times, surrounded by little hearts. FML

by Lovenotes / 10/17/2009 at 7:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to go to the dentist to have a cavity filled. Around halfway through the procedure, something broke the silence in the room. It was my dentist, who had farted. I had to smell his rancid flatulence for around the next five minutes. All the while, I had to keep my mouth wide open. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2009 at 3:48pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Health

Today, while on the crapper, I learned that morphine has a nasty side-effect. It appears that it can cause a massive rock-hard piece of dung the size of a bus to form in your intestines. I went to the doctor, he handed me a glove and some laxatives and said "Have fun!" FML

by Rob / 10/15/2009 at 9:59pm / Health

Today, I was listening to music, talking to a boy I like on MSN. He asked if I could share the song I was listening to, so I did. It wasn't until I had shared and fully transferred it did I realise it was actually the fake radio show I record on my own, in a phoney Australian accent. All 6 minutes of it. FML

by LasagnaRawks / 10/14/2009 at 4:19pm / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Love

Today, I had an argument with my wife. I told her to get back in the kitchen. How does she respond? By doing what I told her to do, and returning to hit me with a frying pan. FML

by PanFace / 10/13/2009 at 2:54am / Australia (New South Wales) / Love

Today, I had to pretend to give birth in a play. I wanted to make it a realistic as possible but ended up crapping myself on stage by accident. FML

by oxjessiiox / 10/11/2009 at 11:42am / United Kingdom (Leicestershire) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my 19th birthday. My boss let me out early to celebrate. On my way home I was hit by a man doing 65 in a 40mph stretch of road. My car was completely destroyed. I spent the rest of my birthday sitting in the ER being treated for a pinched shoulder nerve and whiplash. FML

by WhoDoYouLove6208 / 10/11/2009 at 1:09am / United States (Connecticut) / Health

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML

by -bird-poop- / 10/10/2009 at 8:52am / Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz) / Love

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Alabama) / Love

Today, I asked a girl I like to homecoming. I brought her to my house beforehand for dinner with my family. My brother asked her whether we were just friends or dating, she shouts "Just friends!" and then starts flirting with him with me in the room. FML

by Charon / 10/09/2009 at 6:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was stuck in traffic on the highway and decided it was the perfect time to pick a humongous booger out of my nose. While carefully examing and admiring it, I failed to notice that the owner of my company was staring at me from the left lane in complete and utter revulsion. FML

by whitedevil / 10/09/2009 at 3:09am / United States (California) / Transportation

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

by oliviakelly25 / 10/09/2009 at 2:41am / United States (Idaho) / Love

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

by branwen5 / 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm / United States / Love

Today, while driving home from work an old homeless man stepped out on front of my car. As I slammed on the brakes the man threw a bag of poo at my windscreen and shouted "Praise The Lord!" before carrying on as if nothing had happened. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 5:26pm / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I went upstairs to scold my boys for running in the house because someone could get hurt. As I turned around to come back downstairs I tripped and fell all the way down to the landing at the bottom. I could hear them laughing in their rooms. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 12:30am / United States (Virginia) / Kids