Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bmba94

Online | Search for a member

bmba94

1Fucked!

bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 9109
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>toshaleigh</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:50pm<b>SadSouthernBell</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 1:45pm<b>tamesenicole</b> - the 04/08/2015 at 10:31pm<b>the_aspect</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 10:45pm<b>dariboy</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:41pm<b>FrontRowSquad</b> - the 04/04/2015 at 6:14pm<b>mif</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 10:39pm<b>purpleturtle16</b> - the 03/21/2015 at 7:32am<b>Yarecho</b> - the 03/18/2015 at 5:40pm<b>Scheffy213</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:24pm<b>MissEris</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 3:41am<b>sweatynate</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:01pm<b>NeyNeyDaDa</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 1:20pm<b>honeymoonroyale</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 12:02am<b>fifi125</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 3:19pm<b>sashakotlik</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 1:31pm<b>eyebrowzzz</b> - the 03/05/2015 at 8:55am<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:31pm

Fucked!<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:41am

bmba94's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of bmba94's badges

bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, a patient was late for a psychiatry appointment, after having missed his previous two. I am the medical student on the team that was supposed to do his assessment. I said, "You snooze, you lose." Everyone stopped and looked at me. Apparently, he missed them because he has narcolepsy. FML

#4433335
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13584) - you deserved it (44357)

On 08/10/2009 at 6:48pm - health - by psychedout (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML

#4421825
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79143) - you deserved it (6855)

On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out the hot girl I'd been flirting with on Facebook is actually 3 10-year-olds who created a fake profile to see how many desperate losers would try to hook up with her. FML

#4412595
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12590) - you deserved it (64243)

On 08/09/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by pwndbykidz (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

#4390230
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42492) - you deserved it (10942)

On 08/08/2009 at 6:39pm - intimacy - by sandwichsex (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw my girlfriend going into my best friend's dorm room and suspected her to cheat on me so I placed a camera in his room to spy on them. In the end, I discovered that my girlfriend has problems in math and both my best friend and brother are gay. FML

#4379475
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17931) - you deserved it (76331)

On 08/08/2009 at 3:18am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my parents came to the restaurant I work at as a waiter. After, I picked up the check to realize they had left me a $500 tip! We split the tips among the employees so I only got $50 back but I was still psyched. When I got home they asked me if I had noticed that they used my credit card. FML

#4359168
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58415) - you deserved it (6401)

On 08/07/2009 at 11:23am - money - by goin4broke (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I had a seizure at my boyfriend's. The second I began to seize, he cursed and picked me up, dropping me on the floor complaining "Now I have to clean the damn couch." I had urinated because I had no control over my body. The couch is still stained. He dumped me for ruining his furniture. FML

#4356105
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84879) - you deserved it (6824)

On 08/07/2009 at 4:55am - love - by notsomuchinlove (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370
818 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28132) - you deserved it (521722)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was sitting on the bus next to a hot guy who was texting. I sneaked a peek at his phone to see if he was texting a girl so I could know if he was single. As I looked at his screen, he turned it towards me and typed in caps "STOP BEING A CREEPER." He got out of his seat and off the bus. FML

#4305194
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7965) - you deserved it (78594)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:37am - love - by TextLoser (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, it was my birthday. The only call I received was from my stalker, who sang happy birthday with a japanese accent and asked if he could be my "special present". FML

#4293059
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47976) - you deserved it (3196)

On 08/04/2009 at 9:33pm - misc - by andi0804 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was reading me a love poem he wrote for me. It was beautiful, and going really well until he read the last line, which had a girl's name in it. It wasn't my name. My boyfriend said "shit, wrong girl", and dug through his bag for a different poem. FML

#4277493
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59606) - you deserved it (4294)

On 08/04/2009 at 7:27am - love - by jemma (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I texted my girlfriend and told her I was mowing my lawn. She responded "it's about time, it keeps getting caught in my teeth!" I was referring to the lawn outside of my house. FML

#4272437
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15379) - you deserved it (50781)

On 08/04/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by jkon (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sold a customer some beer. He then asked to see the manager, and told me he was a 19 year old undercover cop. My knee jerk reaction was to panic and curse aloud, before realizing he was balding, toothless, probably 50, certainly not a cop, and laughing at me for being such a gullible moron. FML

#4231879
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12892) - you deserved it (50344)

On 08/02/2009 at 3:23pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67190) - you deserved it (15374)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #2 : School
  • We tried this before and it went pretty well, so here's another blog section for everyone to have give their opinion on a popular but controversial subject. OK, we're not debating a…

Thursday 23 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: