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bmba94

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bmba94

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bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8198
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I had an important powerpoint presentation for ALL the big execs at work. It seems that during my lunch break, my boyfriend IMed me on my mac saying "Feeling so horny right now, come home for a quicky like last week?" I didn't see it until the presentation. So did the executives. FML

#3899297
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35876) - you deserved it (9533)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:07am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML

#3853046
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13395) - you deserved it (54258)

On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I thought it was a good idea to go number two while smoking a "cigarette". My ash tray was over by the sink so I decided to just ash in the toilet. While ashing between my legs, I sneezed and now I have a extremely uncomfortable burn on my man member. Smoking is bad. FML

#3821134
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7775) - you deserved it (82455)

On 07/17/2009 at 1:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11417) - you deserved it (56458)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582
260 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21789) - you deserved it (93801)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

#3799208
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9557) - you deserved it (54374)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend of a year broke up with me because "god told him to." What god didn't tell him was that I would check his e-mail and find all the e-mails to and from his new girlfriend. FML

#3797980
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46472) - you deserved it (5712)

On 07/16/2009 at 9:44am - love - by hrtbrkn (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, at the end of a night of heavy drinking, I decided it was a good idea to go off into the park with a friend of mine. We ended up fooling around in the park, when a couple of kids stole our clothes. We had to walk back to town with no clothes on. FML

#3792630
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13612) - you deserved it (69547)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:15am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my neighbor confessed to me that he was homophobic and regrets that his family doesnt know it. He spent fifteen minutes explaining how much he would hate to have a gay child. I spent two hours last night convincing his son that it was the right thing to tell his family he was gay. FML

#3776929
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52924) - you deserved it (4930)

On 07/15/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by mook (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at martial arts practice, a guest sensei wanted to teach me some "manners". He pinned me down and proceded to choke me while crushing my nuts with his hands and yelling at me in front of the whole class, "DOES THAT HURT?!!?" FML

#3769867
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43416) - you deserved it (8203)

On 07/15/2009 at 9:21am - misc - by GrippedMyBalls - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

#3740095
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19202) - you deserved it (58015)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:41am - intimacy - by unlucky_number13 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to clean my walls with those Mr Clean Magic Sponges because we were having visitors. I got bored and started drawing penises with it because they would leave wet marks. There is nothing magic about how slow they dry when your visitors come an hour early. They saw all ten of them. FML

#3723567
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8375) - you deserved it (59864)

On 07/13/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by iJehx (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while riding on the car with my family, I put on my headphones and pretended to be listening to music and when my parents talked to me, I pretended I couldn't hear them. They took this opportunity to discuss how fat I was and how I can't hold down a boyfriend. They were laughing as well. FML

#3718227
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50565) - you deserved it (20513)

On 07/13/2009 at 2:33pm - misc - by Solemnwishing (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I had gotten home from dropping my boyfriend off when my dad said "your phones been buzzing". I had a text saying "you're grounded," from my Dad. My Alarm saying 'Birth Control Pill' had been going off for a half hour while I was gone. FML

#3704342
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39075) - you deserved it (29676)

On 07/13/2009 at 12:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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