Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

bmba94

Offline (the 02/21/2015 at 8:59am) | Search for a member

bmba94

1Liked!

bmba94
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 10 September 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7242
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

bmba94's page activity

Visits<b>hallieee</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 12:31pm<b>MissyPastaCreeps</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 11:08pm<b>pinkgreenyellow</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 3:09pm<b>fifi125</b> - the 02/19/2015 at 5:55am<b>stuckintime</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:00pm<b>avecave99</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 1:22pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 2:16am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 02/16/2015 at 5:53pm<b>swanheart</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 2:10am<b>daffyduck16</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 9:17pm<b>hobbs96</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 6:36am<b>UhHuhHoney</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 2:11am<b>Cherryta</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 8:31pm<b>FanofGames</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 11:33pm<b>noctali_Solstice</b> - the 02/01/2015 at 12:29am<b>singer0421</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 12:00am<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/24/2015 at 10:40pm<b>thevelociraptor</b> - the 01/15/2015 at 5:13pm

Liked!<b>BloodyDemon</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 4:41am

bmba94's FML badges

Profile completed

You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of bmba94's badges

bmba94's favorite FMLs

Today, I posted a photo on Facebook of me at a club with some friends. The first comment it got was "Just got a stiffy. 10/10." Thanks for that, dad. FML

#21351395
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (3060)

On 02/07/2015 at 7:52am - misc - by gali-ma (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25071) - you deserved it (10189)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, in a desperate attempt to get fired, I sent a sexual love letter to my boss. We're going on our first date tomorrow. FML

#21350765
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19747) - you deserved it (35852)

On 02/06/2015 at 3:06am - work - by fucked - Singapore

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a few months told me he couldn't stay overnight because his mom would yell at him for not coming home. We're both 30 and I didn't know he still lived at home. FML

#21350278
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31442) - you deserved it (3570)

On 02/05/2015 at 11:42am - love - by thenewgirl29 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39294) - you deserved it (5528)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, my date dropped me off at home and briefly met my parents. As he was leaving he whispered into my ear, "I want to feel the inside of your vagina with the outside of my penis." My parents totally heard. FML

#21349904
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36390) - you deserved it (4278)

On 02/04/2015 at 8:21pm - intimacy - by MIB thingy please... (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29325) - you deserved it (2212)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14594) - you deserved it (38129)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making out with a girl I've liked for a long time. At one point she stopped kissing me and said, "You kiss like my brother". I sat there dumbstruck as she went back to kissing me. FML

#21349028
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34176) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/03/2015 at 1:23pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Wyoming)

Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16009) - you deserved it (29335)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (4161)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I witnessed a man masturbate into a public urinal, miss, fart, and then leave without washing his hands. FML

#21347895
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31210) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/01/2015 at 6:10pm - health - by grossedout - United States (Virginia)

Today, my Breaking Bad obsessed boyfriend actually used the phrase "I am the one who cocks." during foreplay. My vagina just about turned into a desert on the spot. FML

#21347719
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29870) - you deserved it (3276)

On 02/01/2015 at 11:17am - intimacy - by SKYYYLLLARRRR!!!! (woman) - United States (Illinois)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: