bmach

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bmach

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 7 September 1989 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12787
  • Number of comments : 65
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 10 posted

About bmach : An awesome guy in general.

bmach's page activity

Visits<b>redstone7693</b> - the 01/04/2016 at 12:30am<b>HarshD9619</b> - the 12/23/2015 at 7:14am<b>valerie_273</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 5:43pm<b>hashbrown97</b> - the 11/15/2015 at 7:38am<b>thefmlman2011</b> - the 05/10/2015 at 7:53am<b>Jdlove2</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 11:45pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 03/28/2015 at 9:04pm<b>KatlynBrooke</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 2:52am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 8:36pm<b>kelseysking</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 1:23pm<b>chriswala</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 12:41am<b>smileyave</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm<b>lovefrog</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 8:14pm<b>blcusername</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 9:13am<b>anotm</b> - the 07/27/2014 at 11:04pm<b>ArtemisGide</b> - the 07/20/2014 at 12:26am<b>Ilikepie467</b> - the 07/17/2014 at 3:00am<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 05/22/2014 at 12:08pm

bmach's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

bmach's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in the car with my friends. A techno song came on and we started fist pumping. We hit a bump, I fist pumped myself in the face, and crashed into a stop sign. FML

by wolfpacking / 02/02/2010 at 12:51am / Transportation

Today, I had one more gift to buy: a copy of Fight Club. I asked a person working at Best Buy if they had any in stock. The man wouldn't sell me the last copy because I had broken the first two rules. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2009 at 3:10pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating lunch out side with my friends, when a spider fell on one guy's back. I glanced at it and opened my mouth to warn him when another guy flicked it and it went into my mouth. I can still taste it. FML

by ollierocks96 / 12/17/2009 at 4:43pm / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love

Today, I was in class, playing online poker and keeping up my winning record. I eventually got seated against a guy who beat me at every hand. I heard laughing behind me after I lost all my winnings. The guy behind me had just made an account, looked over my shoulder, and won all my money. FML

by shushingmoon / 09/18/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (Louisiana) / Money

Today, I received a text message from my favorite sister saying "Great news! The technology in condoms has improved so much that they ensure that accidents like you won't ever happen again!" Today's my birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 09/01/2009 at 3:19pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the person I had been habitually stealing bag lunches from at work made me a canned dog food sandwich. FML

by Hairball / 09/01/2009 at 2:05pm / United States (South Carolina) / Work

Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML

by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

by fmysexlife / 07/27/2009 at 1:06am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

by NoBalls / 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I woke up to find The Sims 2 running on pause on my laptop. I unpaused to find my character and my boyfriend's were no longer together. Slightly confused, I went on to find the note my boyfriend left. It said, "I hope you can take a hint." I got dumped through a computer game. FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm / United States (California) / Geek

Today, a girl-scout asked me to buy cookies, in front of Giant. She looked nice, so I bought 5 boxes from her. She took the money and went home with her mom. I opened the boxes when I got home and realized that the boxes just had rocks in them. I got scammed by a girl-scout. FML

by twit / 03/15/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML

by deez_nutz / 03/10/2009 at 8:46am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I got a letter from my college saying that if my tuition was not paid in the next 24 hours, I will be terminated from classes. Turns out account services has been depositing my tuition money in another student’s account whose social security number was one digit different from mine. FML

by collegedoesntwantme / 03/06/2009 at 8:48pm / United States (Delaware) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I cried and told him that I loved him. He gave me a quarter and told me to call someone who cared. I threw the quarter in his face and ran. I waited for the bus, but when I got on, I realized I was 25 cents short of the fare. I walked home in the rain. FML

by GD / 02/21/2009 at 5:11pm / Canada (Quebec) / Love