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blueyes909

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blueyes909

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 3794
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About blueyes909 : All of these FML's are hilarious and troubling at the same time! Haha(:

blueyes909's page activity

Visits<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 02/04/2015 at 12:00am<b>davidxflow</b> - the 02/02/2015 at 10:18am<b>thatchick1405</b> - the 10/28/2014 at 2:51am<b>AustinDenton</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 10:41pm<b>andy594328</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 8:44pm<b>MissJennyale</b> - the 04/21/2014 at 12:11pm

blueyes909's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of blueyes909's badges

blueyes909's favorite FMLs

Today, I got the earlier bus to avoid my ex after a painful breakup. He had the same idea. FML

#21370976
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33557) - you deserved it (3174)

On 03/09/2015 at 3:52am - love - by sadex -

Today, I applied for a job at a local store. As I walked out the door, I heard the manager read it out loud and everybody else laugh. FML

#21370930
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (2297)

On 03/09/2015 at 1:44am - work - by probably not getting the job - United States (Oregon)

Today, after struggling for over a year with it, and now having it medically confirmed, I told my step-dad about my depression. He gave me a disgusted look and scoffed, "Toughen up, cunt." FML

#21364994
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33248) - you deserved it (3871)

On 02/28/2015 at 12:22am - health - by fine (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on my way to work when my ex-wife drove past me in the car she got from me. She fucked me over so hard in the divorce that I have to ride my bike to work while wearing a full suit. FML

#21359275
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38182) - you deserved it (3292)

On 02/19/2015 at 3:45pm - money - by D: - United States (Colorado)

Today, a creepy old guy kept hitting on me in line at Subway. I got scared and told him to back off because my dad was waiting for me outside. He replied that he wouldn't object to a three-way. FML

#21352037
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33945) - you deserved it (2288)

On 02/08/2015 at 11:05am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I walked in on my husband jacking off to a photo of himself. FML

#21346857
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35035) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/30/2015 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my crush was giving me a ride home. As we pulled up to my house, he looked into my eyes with a sweet smile and said the words every girl wants to hear - "Do you give head?" FML

#21339980
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35632) - you deserved it (5301)

On 01/19/2015 at 12:35am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, I spent hours cooking an amazing dinner for my family, who had just gotten home from a trip, so we could spend some time together because I'd started to miss everyone. When they got home, they saw it all laid out and just took plates to their room, without even telling me they were home. FML

#21331513
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27438) - you deserved it (1943)

On 01/05/2015 at 7:15pm - misc - by anon - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I blew my load in less than a minute. I wasn't having sex or even making out. I was spooning. FML

#21318416
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35190) - you deserved it (6524)

On 12/16/2014 at 7:01am - intimacy - by Extravirgin (man) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, my family got into a massive argument about whether or not battery-operated toothbrushes are considered electric toothbrushes. Everyone is in their own room and refuses to talk to each other. FML

#21318050
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30518) - you deserved it (3146)

On 12/15/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by thechaos (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29802) - you deserved it (5247)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I sat on the bus for 3 hours stuck in traffic trying to ignore the old lady sitting next to me discreetly masturbating. FML

Today, I woke up from a wet dream. My girlfriend quickly figured it out and bitched me out for having one when she was "right there" for me to ask for sex. Logic failure aside, the last time I flirted with her, she called me a sex-obsessed pig and didn't talk to me for three days. FML

#21315008
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35641) - you deserved it (3725)

On 12/10/2014 at 1:16pm - intimacy - by unlovedandunfucked (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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