bluepandas

Search for a member

bluepandas

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 575
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About bluepandas : I'm boring... I collect coins and watch disney movies while cuddling my cat.

bluepandas's page activity

Visits<b>k_gils</b> - the 10/17/2013 at 7:17pm<b>lVluse</b> - the 07/14/2013 at 11:13pm<b>Llama_Face89</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 4:31pm<b>Wizardo</b> - the 06/08/2013 at 3:36pm

bluepandas's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

See all of bluepandas's badges

bluepandas's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to sit through chemistry class watching the kid in front of me slowly peel off the scabs on his arms, examine them, and then eat them. For an hour. FML

by cuppycakeslove / 12/07/2011 at 6:35am / United States (Ohio) / Health

Today, while at my job as a hostess, I was seating a couple and their adorable little girl. I tried to ask how old she was, but what came out was, "Aww, what breed is she?" FML

by Anonymous / 10/21/2011 at 5:27pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, while performing a rectal exam on my female patient, I inadvertently said, "Okay, you're going to feel some pleasure now." I meant "pressure". Her husband was in the room. FML

by imy / 10/18/2011 at 11:01am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

by toni405 / 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm / United States / Love

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I got to my first class seat on an airplane, I saw the person I'd be sitting next to wafting the smell of her vagina towards herself and breathing in deeply. It's an eight hour flight. FML

by Anonymous / 12/17/2010 at 8:28pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, I was applying Icy Hot. I squeezed the bottle too hard making it squirt in my eye. I ran to the bathroom in agony, turned on the faucet, and slammed my face right into it. FML

by Jesska / 09/03/2010 at 3:59pm / United States (New York) / Health

Today, I accidentally stapled my finger to a piece of paper. It hurt, but I took it out and went to restaple it. I did it again. FML

by Staples / 05/15/2010 at 2:21am / United Kingdom / Geek

Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML

by Funnymann / 01/22/2010 at 3:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I put cucumber slices on my eyes to help me relax. I found this very calming till I woke up to ants trying to eat my eyes out. FML

by jumpy / 01/03/2010 at 6:59pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to see how far I could get away from the toilet while pissing. Instead I tripped over backwards and pissed all over my face. FML

by pissfaced / 01/02/2010 at 8:41am / New Zealand (Wellington) / Miscellaneous

Today, while riding in the car with my friends, we stopped at a red light. To our left, a very obese, middle aged man slowly unbuttoned his shirt and spread it out. He then stared at us while massaging his nipples with his thumb and index fingers for the duration of the red light. FML

by Scarred / 09/04/2009 at 1:15am / United States (North Carolina) / Transportation

Today, I saw a video of myself filmed last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming, "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" while naked. FML

by ShiriSarah / 08/20/2009 at 10:39am / United Kingdom (London) / Miscellaneous

Today, while doing aerobics in my room, I started doing really powerful Knee Highs. My cell phone fell out of my pocket while doing one knee high. As I looked down, I kneed myself in the face. I spent the next couple hours in the emergency room while the doctor told everyone my story. FML

by mobster / 07/26/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Georgia) / Health

Today, in the shower, a dime fell on my foot. The only place it could have come from? One of my fat rolls. FML

by FattyMcFatterson / 06/23/2009 at 10:37pm / United States (Alabama) / Health