About bluehero : Hey.
bluehero's FML badges
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
bluehero's favorite FMLs
by a2 / 02/06/2014 at 1:57am / Australia (Victoria) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/07/2013 at 2:17am / United States (California) / Work
Today, during a job interview, I was offered a sandwich. I politely declined, explaining that I'm a coeliac and would probably get very sick. He said coeliac disease "isn't real" and that gluten-free eating is just a fad. I had to leave when he kept pushing me to accept it. FML
by Anonymous / 12/01/2013 at 1:02am / Norway / Health
Today, a girl and I were flirting and it was going well. Feeling bold, I asked what she would do if I kissed her. She smiled flirtatiously and said "Why don't you try it and find out?" I went in for a kiss, and she slapped me. FML
by smooth / 11/21/2013 at 11:10am / United States / Miscellaneous
by maxhhh / 11/16/2013 at 1:19am / United States (California) / Health
by Huedadaa / 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm / France (Picardie) / Kids
Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
by NoNotCats =^._.^= / 09/03/2013 at 4:17am / United States (Arizona) / Health
Today, I was driving down a one-way street, when some raging dumbass came screaming the wrong way down the road at me. My instant reaction was to brake and give the guy a chance to do the same. His instant reaction was to keep going and wreck my car. FML
by hello higher premiums, fuckwad / 08/25/2013 at 12:23pm / Canada (Quebec) / Transportation
Today, I learned that when a heavily-pregnant friend asks about my progress with the baby socks I promised to knit, it's rather unwise to tell her, "Not to worry, we're set even if it comes out with a few feet too many." She's still crying. FML
by Demotivation / 08/23/2013 at 10:12am / Germany / Miscellaneous
by ttREZZ / 07/27/2013 at 1:02am / United States (Indiana) / Love
Today, my naked boyfriend walked up to me with my towel around his neck and with a hard-on, then declared he was "The Penis Man" and slapped me with his junk. I thought I was dating a man, not a man-child. FML
by peniswoman / 07/14/2013 at 1:03pm / United Kingdom (Renfrewshire) / Intimacy
by dry spell / 07/02/2013 at 12:17pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I talked about our past relationships. He said he broke up with his last girlfriend because she was "too smart" for him, and that he felt better being with someone who "doesn't have too many lights on upstairs, if you know what I mean." FML
by ... / 06/16/2013 at 4:57pm / South Africa (Eastern Cape) / Love
Today, in class, we were discussing stereotypes. We were asked about common ones about nearby cities. A guy said, "Well, they say Lumberton has the prettiest girls." My teacher asked if any of us were from Lumberton, so I raised my hand. The guy quickly said, "Nevermind." FML
by wellthanks / 06/10/2013 at 1:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, in the middle of sex, my husband accidentally headbutted me, almost knocking me unconscious.… Today, I was talking to this guy I liked at work. He was flirting with me, and everything was going… Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said,…