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blondeninja1's favorite FMLs
by pudh / 08/05/2015 at 7:08am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, I wore a pair of shorts a size too big while doing laundry. When I ordered a pizza afterwards and answered the door, I realized I looked a little heavy, so I sucked in my stomach. My shorts fell to the ground in front of the delivery guy. FML
by oops / 05/11/2015 at 12:40pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
by brittrus / 05/08/2015 at 9:44am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML
by NevertheKool / 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm / United States (New Jersey) / Money
by HappyNewYearsToMeAndMyCat / 01/01/2015 at 12:25am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML
by danielzcwu / 12/29/2014 at 2:11pm / Taiwan (T'ai-pei) / Transportation
by Mr_snuggels / 12/24/2014 at 3:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Animals
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my dad to take me to the store so I could get some feminine hygiene products. When we got there, he went running down the aisles yelling, "Help! My daughter's bleeding to death! Where're the tampons?!" FML
by tbree / 09/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 09/04/2014 at 2:44am / United States (Michigan) / Animals
by Anonymous / 06/28/2014 at 8:09pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals
by Anonymous / 05/21/2014 at 12:05pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, while at work, I asked an older customer how he was doing. He told me that he'd just lost his wife. I gave my condolences before he clarified that his wife was not dead, but was lost in Walmart. FML
by oh god. / 05/14/2014 at 7:16pm / Canada (Alberta) / Work
by Anonymous / 05/14/2014 at 4:43pm / United States (South Carolina) / Animals
Today, when I went to the shopping centre, the automatic door wouldn't open for me. I had to stand there and wait until someone else walked by to open it for me. I suffer from dwarfism and this is a daily occurrence. FML
by shorty / 04/21/2014 at 12:11am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous
- Today, my boyfriend wouldn't lick the whipped cream I had on my nipples because "That stuff is full… Today, for my boyfriend's 19th birthday, I decided to dress up as a sexy cat girl for him, complete… Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about…
- Today, returning home, I found my roommate trying one of my bras. When he saw my shocked face, the… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to… Today, after recently moving to Australia, I saw my first kangaroo. In the refrigerated section of…