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blondeamazonian

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blondeamazonian

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blondeamazonian
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 554
  • Number of comments : 46
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

About blondeamazonian : In a nutshell... I am an over caffeinated barista, a welder chick with no fucks given, and a crazy cat lady in training. And I like to dirt bike. A lot.

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blondeamazonian's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of blondeamazonian's badges

blondeamazonian's favorite FMLs

Today, my professor cancelled class so I turned off my alarm. When I woke up, I checked my email again. There was no email from my professor. It was a dream. FML

#21350106
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39374) - you deserved it (5535)

On 02/05/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by DreamsDontComeTrue - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to work with a great attitude, something that doesn't happen often. It was shortly ruined after some lady yelled at me because I accidentally shorted her one penny. Yep. One single penny. FML

#21344188
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23599) - you deserved it (3182)

On 01/25/2015 at 8:41pm - work - by WhyMe (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28028) - you deserved it (2303)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I decided to use an at-home waxing kit for the first time to get rid of the hair on my upper lip. After experiencing the trauma of waxing, I fell asleep. A few hours later, I woke up to see that I now have acne everywhere I had waxed. I have an acne mustache. FML

#21340725
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (4338)

On 01/20/2015 at 1:14am - misc - by iamamermaid (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at a ski resort, I tried to impress an attractive girl on the slopes and failed, horribly. I ended up with a mild concussion and some serious cuts after tripping, tumbling and hitting my head against the ground. I don't think she was impressed. FML

#21338794
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21548) - you deserved it (9384)

On 01/17/2015 at 8:54am - health - by badluck_jean (man) - France

Today, someone tried to break into my dorm room while I was in class. Ramming the metal door with their shoulder just dented it, so they pissed on my welcome mat and left. FML

#21331929
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (2186)

On 01/06/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by rimenrezon (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my coworker asked me if I was on a diet for my New Year's resolution. When I said no, she replied, "Why not?" FML

#21331074
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29435) - you deserved it (4042)

On 01/05/2015 at 1:08am - health - by FeelingFatastic - United States

Today, I went on a first date, only for us to find the restaurant wasn't open on New Year's Day. My date suggested going to the mall instead. We drove in our own cars. Me: the mall, him: home. I waited for 40 minutes before realising he'd stood me up. Happy New Year to me. FML

#21328493
77 comments

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32704) - you deserved it (2634)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, someone commented on my mother's memorial page on my blog. It said "u need too get over it bitch" and "ur mum was a wh0re". I looked up the IP address and found the comment was posted from my own wifi. The only other person who lives in my house is my girlfriend. FML

#21297662
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42721) - you deserved it (3179)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Redcar and Cleveland)

Today, at the gym, some muscle head idiot started yelling at the treadmill for not going fast enough, and I muttered "roid rage". Apparently said roids give him superhuman hearing, because he heard me from the other side of the room, and threatened to kill me. FML

#21297627
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29485) - you deserved it (8309)

On 11/12/2014 at 11:00am - health - by juggalomurderer59 (man) - United States

Today, while at work, I was shown CCTV footage of myself staring at the chest belonging to a teenager I was serving. I was accused of being a paedophile and nearly fired, all because I wanted to know what version of Spider-Man was on her T-shirt. FML

#21291439
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33440) - you deserved it (5170)

On 11/03/2014 at 7:00pm - work - by Not A Pervert - United Kingdom (Peterborough)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28078) - you deserved it (2802)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

Today, while working as a barista, a customer yelled about her muffins and butter not being ready since she only had a "short time to eat". There were 7 tip giving customers ahead of her, but I rushed her order. She gave no tip and stayed for over an hour. FML

#21211312
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39576) - you deserved it (4808)

On 07/16/2014 at 10:46pm - work - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)



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