Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?


Offline (the 08/31/2015 at 12:50am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 23 December 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 2205
  • Number of comments : 66
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 13 posted

About blinked_281 : hmm... not too much to say. my name's Chelsi .-. I love the elder scrolls, blink 182, magic the gathering, pokemon, piercings, and tattoos :) I have 11 piercings, 11 tattoos. I have a good sense of humor (why would I be here if I didn't?). Animals are nifty. I have a bearded dragon, a snake, and two cats :) yep! c:

blinked_281's page activity

Visits<b>MaiqTheLiar</b> - the 10/30/2015 at 5:50am<b>FuckFace10</b> - the 08/20/2015 at 9:31pm<b>CandienInEurope</b> - the 08/19/2015 at 3:48pm<b>trollcrusher</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:40am<b>Fidge</b> - the 08/15/2015 at 12:25am<b>LeashaJoy5595</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 11:44pm<b>Cookie_Overlord</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 7:11pm<b>Cloco98</b> - the 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Gamergeek159</b> - the 07/15/2015 at 2:44pm<b>negb</b> - the 07/13/2015 at 4:53am<b>quazimozart</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 5:56pm<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 1:52pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 10:51am<b>winterforever97</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 11:01pm<b>goldcock19</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 7:52pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 6:23pm<b>Lalala579121</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 4:25am<b>thecouchisalive</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 3:15am

Fucked!<b>sarcasm_insanity</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 7:53pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 4:51pm<b>winterforever97</b> - the 07/01/2015 at 5:02am<b>ToxicTyrael</b> - the 05/11/2015 at 4:58pm<b>AirBusDriver</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 1:14am<b>Bazinga_1821</b> - the 03/15/2015 at 12:42am<b>kittyfrozen</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 11:31am<b>TRENZ</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 9:13am<b>Stazza11</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 8:18am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 3:21am<b>robertd73</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 2:42pm<b>GrinchFu1</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:56am<b>shjoh</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 9:48am

blinked_281's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of blinked_281's badges

blinked_281's favorite FMLs

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML


I agree, your life sucks (33646) - you deserved it (15634)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML


I agree, your life sucks (30592) - you deserved it (3575)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend went shopping at Victoria's Secret with me. While she was in the fitting room, her parents walked by and saw me. They don't approve of the store, so I panicked and told them I was considering becoming a woman. FML


I agree, your life sucks (45438) - you deserved it (13268)

On 09/09/2014 at 11:16pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend to talk dirty to me. Her response was to impersonate a saxophone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (38517) - you deserved it (9546)

On 09/02/2014 at 11:32am - intimacy - by ihatejasonderulo - United Kingdom (Hounslow)

Today, I got rear-ended because my ultra-clingy girlfriend wouldn't let go of my hand long enough for me to shift gears. FML


I agree, your life sucks (46405) - you deserved it (11189)

On 07/25/2014 at 5:18pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML


I agree, your life sucks (50049) - you deserved it (7119)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while working in a call center at a university, someone threatened to report me to the President of the University because "I" wouldn't accept their daughter who had a 1.5 GPA and "got accepted into Harvard". I don't even make the decisions, I just answer calls. FML

Today, my cat decided to hide in the garbage can so he could get a free trip outside, but was too fat to climb all of the way inside of it. He got stuck half-way in. It took me ten minutes to get him out. FML

Today, I met this overweight chick and ended up sleeping with her. We were doing it doggy style and it was great until she said, "Milk me like a cow." I can no longer drink milk without hearing that in my head. FML


I agree, your life sucks (55713) - you deserved it (20140)

On 05/06/2014 at 9:55am - intimacy - by chumman (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I farted so loudly I not only woke myself up, but my husband as well. He mistook my gas for someone trying to break in and insisted on checking the whole house. I was too embarrassed to tell him the truth. FML


I agree, your life sucks (44459) - you deserved it (9007)

On 04/28/2014 at 12:58pm - misc - by gassymomma (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad and I got into an argument. When I was proven wrong, he said, "Good job, genius." I shot back the first thing that popped into my head, which was "I am not a genius!" He laughed and says that if I die before him, he's having that engraved on my tombstone. FML


I agree, your life sucks (34703) - you deserved it (13579)

On 04/25/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my 808 area code phone number has yet again been mistaken for a 1-800 number. I've been getting phone calls at three in the morning from people on the east coast who are trying to return their shoes. They want to speak to my supervisor because I "don't sound professional enough." FML

Today, for our 25th anniversary, my husband and I had dinner on a cruise ship, a dinner we had been planning for months. Upon boarding, I realized the expensive dress that I had bought just for the occasion had exactly the same print as the chair covers and the carpet. The cruise lasted 8 hours. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42538) - you deserved it (6065)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:13am - misc - by Why (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad decided to shave his beard. I told him I wanted him to keep it, so he took the shavings, put them in a jar, and left it in my room. FML


I agree, your life sucks (36824) - you deserved it (12628)

On 03/22/2014 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, while walking through Wal-Mart I noticed a cute employee. With a sudden burst of confidence, I walked right up to him, intending to ask for his number. Instead, I looked him in the eye and said, "Excuse me sir, how much do you know about bedsheets?" and then ran. FML


I agree, your life sucks (42754) - you deserved it (11987)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06am - love - by booksandshadows (woman) - United States (California)

Mselle Risa's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML Pics : The top 4 pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a boring bunch of words thrown at you by a corporate robot. That's true. Corporate robots are the worst. Anyway, the FML Pics app is still being downloaded all over the…

Tuesday 24 November 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: