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blader0314

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blader0314
  • Town/Country : Yukon, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 8279
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

blader0314's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting my younger brother while my parents were away. I turned my back on my brother for one minute and then I heard a huge crash from their room. He had somehow destroyed a family heirloom and 200 year old clock. FML

#6397427
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23224) - you deserved it (6724)

On 11/21/2009 at 11:05pm - kids - by Rhianna (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

#6396436
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23958) - you deserved it (5773)

On 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm - animals - by gbabyy (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, in dance class we did a choreography where we wear two shirts and take one off in one quick motion. After I took mine off, the audience goes "aaah". Then I realize that I had taken both my shirts off as stood there with only my bra on. I was being videotaped. FML

#6393242
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (5492)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:36pm - misc - by girl (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up after drunkenly hooking up with a girl who was really into Twilight. I felt bruises on the lower end of my neck and so I went to the mirror and checked it out. She bit me, 5 times. FML

#6392894
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11940) - you deserved it (33194)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by jibberish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had a tooth pulled. An hour or so later, I removed the gauze from my mouth, because I thought the bleeding had stopped. I got on my laptop. A few minutes later I looked down, to see that I had drooled blood all over the keyboard, and didn't know because my mouth was numb. FML

#6392030
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11250) - you deserved it (28021)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:21pm - health - by MrZach (man) - United States

Today, I saw a squirrel beside a tree. Thinking it was cute, I stepped closer, picked up a pine cone and tried to lure it to come closer. After about two minutes of silently squatting on someone's lawn holding a pine cone, I realized the squirrel was dead. FML

#6391764
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you deserved it (12921)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:02pm - animals - by eyesightfail (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

#6391175
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (22297)

On 11/21/2009 at 4:44pm - love - by frootloops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I submitted an entry for a logo design contest for my employer. Apparently, it is possible to lose a contest even when you had the only entry. FML

#6390858
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23555) - you deserved it (3264)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:51pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a friend convinced me that I should throw a big party and invite everyone to come. After fixing a ton of party food, I sat around and waited for my guests to arrive. No one did. FML

#6390668
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27663) - you deserved it (2782)

On 11/21/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by tealsoda (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I told my boyfriend of nine months that depression runs in my family and I think the reason I've been flipping shit so much lately may be that I am depressed. Not five minutes later he decided a break would be "the best thing for us right now." FML

#6390446
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20221) - you deserved it (878)

On 11/21/2009 at 2:10pm - love - by Guess (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I found out that my mom had read my diary because she was worried. She now knows details about my depression, details about my sex life, such as how I lost my virginity, to whom (I don't have a boyfriend), and what condition I was in at the time (drunk as a duck). She also showed my dad. FML

#6389585
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30941) - you deserved it (18193)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I was at a zoo with some friends in Germany. People were talking to this bird and it responded in complete, grammatically correct German sentences. One of my friends said 'Wow, that bird has better grammar than the exchange student!' A bird speaks better German than me. FML

#6389403
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (4315)

On 11/21/2009 at 7:19am - animals - by bird-brain (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

#6389255
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39509) - you deserved it (3185)

On 11/21/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by AussieGirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I learned that you should always make sure the car is in 'park' before you get it on wildly in it. FML

#6383461
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4800) - you deserved it (22702)

On 11/20/2009 at 7:56pm - intimacy - by Ellen - United States

Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML

#6382728
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (2400)

On 11/20/2009 at 6:50pm - misc - by WhyTheEff (man) - United States (California)



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