blader0314

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blader0314

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 March 1995 (21 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 15039
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

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blader0314's page activity

Visits<b>MidnightTrue</b> - the 11/03/2011 at 12:25am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:14pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 1:59am<b>Jill_12</b> - the 09/07/2009 at 1:43pm<b>mckenzv</b> - the 08/28/2009 at 2:25pm<b>ch2358</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 5:45pm<b>prplr</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 4:17pm<b>kayla_f_babyyy</b> - the 08/19/2009 at 2:17pm<b>jqkmaster</b> - the 07/01/2009 at 8:50am<b>katelyns</b> - the 06/17/2009 at 5:47am

blader0314's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

blader0314's favorite FMLs

Today, like many other days, I fell asleep in math class. Unlike other days, however, I woke up with a start while ripping a really loud fart in my sleep. The whole class heard it because it was during a lecture. Even the teacher was laughing at me and I had to walk, no, run out of the room. FML

by Anonymous / 11/24/2009 at 12:57am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about how I'm self conscious about my weight. He looks at me and says, "Don't worry babe, I've always been kind of a chubby chaser." FML

by cc / 11/24/2009 at 12:03am / United States (Washington) / Health

Today, I agreed to buy my girlfriend a piggle for Christmas. The pig is miniature. The noise it makes is not. Oh, and I just found out it's not living with her, but with me. FML

by pigglepigglepiggle / 11/23/2009 at 9:30pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, the company offering the job position that I've been applying for called me up. I wasn't there to answer so they got redirected to my voice mail in which I'm acting like a drunk David Hasselhoff chewing on a cheeseburger. They called me 5 times. FML

by Mr IT / 11/23/2009 at 8:47pm / Sweden (Vastmanlands Lan) / Work

Today, my fiancé and I were fooling around when his foreskin ripped and bled all over the place. After a trip to the emergency room, the doctor told us no sex for 6 weeks to let it heal. We're getting married and going on our honeymoon in 2 weeks. FML

by bleh / 11/23/2009 at 5:29pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I went over to my best friend's house only to have his little brother run up to us and confess his love to me. His little brother is twelve and I've tutored him for a year. I'm seventeen and male. Now my best friend thinks I 'taught' him something weird. He won't talk to me. FML

by Yue / 11/23/2009 at 4:14pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up in a closet of a four star hotel, having spent the night drinking. I am a secondary school teacher and I have been visiting this place on a school trip. My flight left at 4am this morning and it's now 1pm in the afternoon. FML

by Nicholasand / 11/23/2009 at 1:29pm / United Kingdom (Staffordshire) / Transportation

Today, I was walking on the boardwalk with my mom when an old man came up and asked me to marry him. He promised he would buy me a Mercedes if I did. The man was homeless and delusional. My mom told me I should take the offer because it would be the best offer I could get. FML

by ellie / 11/23/2009 at 1:09pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my dad hides his Viagra from my mom by keeping it in an Aspirin container. Now I have a terrible headache and a boner. FML

by sickkid / 11/23/2009 at 1:05pm / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, I fell in a hole in my back yard and got stuck. My mother called the fire department. They all stood around laughing and taking pictures before they helped me. FML

by PaperInfection / 11/23/2009 at 11:19am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that some men think it's ok to clip their fingernails, at the table, in a restaurant, on a first date. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 5:13am / United States (South Carolina) / Love

Today, I found my son's dead goldfish. Apparently, when it died he didn't flush it. Instead he placed it in one of my socks, placed that sock in a jar, and set the jar in the back of my closet. The fish has been dead for over a month. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 2:31am / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I saw one of my favorite hockey players in public. I had met him once before, and to my shock, he remembered me. I was pretty excited until he started talking to his friend in French. He didn't seem to realize that I'm fluent in the language. He basically called me "ugly psycho bitch." FML

by frenchgirl / 11/23/2009 at 1:59am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my friend called me freaking out because of an online pregnancy test. She was scared because she had no idea that she was pregnant, let alone having a fifteen pound baby. The website is a joke. She goes to an Ivy League school, and I couldn't even get into community college. FML

by Anonymous / 11/23/2009 at 12:21am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a blind date. It was going well until I brought up my views on politics. He then told me to shut up because women were incapable of intelligent thought. Then he asked if I wanted to go back to his place and have sex. FML

by OnlyIfYouLoveMe / 11/23/2009 at 12:12am / United States / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.