Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

blader0314

Search for a member

blader0314
  • Town/Country : Yukon, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 14 March 1995 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 8275
  • Number of comments : 14
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

blader0314's last visitors

MidnightTrueFreezekayla_f_babyyyjqkmasterkatelyns

blader0314's FML badges

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

blader0314's favorite FMLs

Today, I was told by my mother that the reason she quit her job as a counselor and divorced my dad was because she met someone through work. She works in a prison. FML

#6441636
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27651) - you deserved it (1742)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by CT (man) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while on a vacation, I tried to step out of myself and flirt with this boy who I thought was cute. He was going along with it and nodding so I thought it was working. Then he opened his mouth and I realized he didn't speak English. FML

#6441496
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18611) - you deserved it (4702)

On 11/25/2009 at 1:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an alarm installed in my car, and was having problems with it not going off when the car was hit. To demonstrate this to the installers, I bumped my car with my hip, which left a dent, and set the alarm off. FML

#6440907
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6778) - you deserved it (22090)

On 11/24/2009 at 11:08pm - misc - by md - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was fired by one of my bosses for doing something the other boss told me to do. I work for a family company. Turns out my bosses are going through a divorce and will do anything to prove the other wrong. FML

#6440227
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26325) - you deserved it (1097)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:54pm - work - by Anon (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I was walking through the streets with my best friend, feeling confident in my new skinny jeans. My friend said, "you really should be wearing a thong with those pants, your underwear line is showing". I was wearing a thong, those lines were just my fat rolls. FML

#6439665
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9682) - you deserved it (32404)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by xkellybabyyx - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while at work, I was picking up paper in the bathroom. In one stall I saw what I thought was a wadded piece of the brown paper to dry your hands. It wasn't until I realized it was sticking to my bare hand that I realized it was feces. Human feces. FML

#6439619
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23353) - you deserved it (12761)

On 11/24/2009 at 8:00pm - misc - by Oddity_C - United States (Florida)

Today, I went to drive my mom's car for a change. It wouldn't start, so I open the hood. Someone had stolen the battery. I go to start my own car so I can drive to the police station to report the theft, and discover someone siphoned off my gas. FML

#6439470
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22283) - you deserved it (1451)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:44pm - misc - by bummer (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, while showing my art work at a festival, a very old cougar walked up to me and asked if I wanted to hook up later. After refusing more than one time, the woman walked away with my business card. I've been getting emails with naked pictures. FML

#6437512
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18178) - you deserved it (4633)

On 11/24/2009 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by deathbysnoosnoo - United States (California)

Today, I met my wife's other husband. FML

#6436745
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (2839)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by bmonehh (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I watched Paranormal Activity which is known to be the scariest film ever. After the film, I went to brush my teeth and out of the corner of my eye I saw the bathroom door closing by itself. I jumped out of my skin and stabbed myself in the eye with my toothbrush. It was just my dog. FML

#6436100
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10291) - you deserved it (27950)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:45pm - animals - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, I was outside, peeing on a cactus. Then all of a sudden my dog jumped on my back, knocking me into the cactus. FML

#6435507
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10156) - you deserved it (44863)

On 11/24/2009 at 12:11pm - animals - by yomamma787 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I learned explosive diarrhea is real. I felt it coming and dashed into our supermarket. 10 feet in, liquid poo started spewing down my pants legs. 150 feet to go. I ran. It ran. They watched. After 15 minutes of cleaning, I slunk out. Now, I have to find a new market, maybe a new town. FML

#6433881
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37187) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/24/2009 at 6:44am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I sent my main man a picture of the two of us out on our second date. He immediately added it to his MySpace account, with the caption, "clubbin with my hoe." FML

#6433448
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14346) - you deserved it (7250)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had to break up with my girlfriend on her request because she "didn't have the heart to do it." Within twenty minutes I'd received 4 calls from mutual friends, including my best friend, telling me what a jerk I am. And one from my mom. FML

#6433183
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (4496)

On 11/24/2009 at 3:11am - love - by Face_loser (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found a mealworm in my cornflakes. I had already finished most of the bowl. I didn't make it to the toilet to throw up. FML

#6431764
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (2120)

On 11/24/2009 at 1:00am - health - by blowinchunks (man) - Canada (Alberta)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: