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Offline (the 09/18/2015 at 7:21am) | Search for a member



  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 8 May 1989 (26 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 5194
  • Number of comments : 477
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About blackwidowtaco : Shit happens.

blackwidowtaco's page activity

Visits<b>ratman775</b> - the 09/22/2015 at 4:00pm<b>GoldFishPony</b> - the 09/11/2015 at 1:28am<b>TheLostCauseFML</b> - the 09/02/2015 at 12:57am<b>insanecutie</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 2:05pm<b>rogwest</b> - the 08/24/2015 at 1:30pm<b>i_lik_tomaters</b> - the 08/23/2015 at 1:25am<b>weirdncrazy</b> - the 08/11/2015 at 1:26am<b>Ebola</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:00pm<b>Zatert</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:30pm<b>balboa_2</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:39pm<b>ADBurns</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:08pm<b>C7</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 11:42am<b>PresAgent</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:19am<b>MikeonFML</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 9:05am<b>AlexanderDavidd</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 8:58am<b>saocrates</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 6:13am<b>Paris25</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 3:27am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 08/10/2015 at 2:22am

Fucked!<b>Fuaaad1994</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 2:28am<b>Semperfi92340</b> - the 08/01/2015 at 8:41pm<b>XxDanno316xX</b> - the 07/31/2015 at 4:23pm

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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

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blackwidowtaco's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my nephew to be careful when crossing the street in front of a bus because it might eat him. We then watched as a bus slowed down and stopped in front of a group of people. When the bus moved away, all the people were gone. My nephew is terrified, and won't stop crying. FML


I agree, your life sucks (15711) - you deserved it (20031)

On 09/11/2015 at 8:32pm - kids - by busmonster - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my birthday and I have no children. My father bluntly says, "Well, I guess if I get any grand-babies out of you now, they will have Down's Syndrome." I just turned 30. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23049) - you deserved it (1713)

On 08/31/2015 at 5:46pm - kids - by AM (woman) -

Today, I got a phone call letting me know my grandmother was arrested for trying to light my grandpa on fire. She's now in jail, asking for bail money. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23823) - you deserved it (1416)

On 08/29/2015 at 12:29am - misc - by tkoester - United States (Illinois)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML


I agree, your life sucks (31172) - you deserved it (4286)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML


I agree, your life sucks (23720) - you deserved it (2155)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML


I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (2946)

On 08/08/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML


I agree, your life sucks (26693) - you deserved it (1821)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, my boyfriend told me my vagina is "as clean as a dog's mouth." I'm not sure if that supposed to be a compliment or not. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (3019)

On 08/02/2015 at 1:19am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate. It was his first time, which I guess explains him sticking his hand down my panties and practically bitch-slapping my vagina for the next 20 or 30 seconds. I stupidly faked an orgasm just to get him to stop. Now he thinks he's some kind of sex god. FML


I agree, your life sucks (18087) - you deserved it (29172)

On 07/31/2015 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by anon (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as if having an old man shit on the floor of the busy restaurant I work at wasn't bad enough, my manager made a video commentating over the camera footage of me discovering said giant pile of shit, and shared it with the entire staff. This is going to haunt me forever. FML

Today, I wanted to buy a pack of cigarettes. My wife, who didn't want me to get them, decided it would be a good idea to jump on the hood of the car while I was driving off. She hit the car and fell off. My neighbor saw this. Neither her nor the cops believe me when I say I didn't hit her. FML


I agree, your life sucks (24089) - you deserved it (4406)

On 07/30/2015 at 10:06pm - misc - by Just wanted a cigarette (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to profusely apologize to a woman after my six year old son decided to crawl between her legs at the supermarket, then look up her skirt and loudly ask why she didn't have any panties on. FML


I agree, your life sucks (27441) - you deserved it (3671)

On 07/03/2015 at 4:51pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was complimented on my improved performance over the last 3 months. My boss said he doesn't know what I've done to improve, but to keep it up. I'd only started looking for another job, and stopped giving a shit. FML


I agree, your life sucks (25229) - you deserved it (2148)

On 06/25/2015 at 3:06am - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Scarlatine's illustrated FML

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  • Are your abs well-toned and look like you’re made of metal? Feel like a machine ready to take whatever the crossfit fad can throw at you? Do you scream, ”Bro, do you Even lift?" at people during…

Monday 5 October 2015

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