About blackpuddle : I like penguins.
blackpuddle's FML badges
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
I like your style
You've liked someone. How cute!
blackpuddle's favorite FMLs
Today, I was stuck behind an elderly man on a one-way street into my university campus. There was no traffic in front of him and we were both going under the speed limit, so I honked my horn at him to speed up. He ended up double-parking in the last two spots. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2010 at 6:42am / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, I went to Ikea with my family. I was wearing a yellow polo that vaguely looked like the ones the Ikea employees were wearing. Two dozen people came up to me, complaining that I was staring at furniture instead of helping customers. FML
by MissIsabel / 11/03/2010 at 6:43am / Miscellaneous
by ifpigsflew / 10/04/2010 at 7:31pm / New Zealand (Auckland) / Health
Today, at work, I leaned back in a chair too far, causing me to tip over and smash my head into a wall. If that wasn't enough damage, my boss keeps replaying the security footage to everyone I work with. My head hurts not from the fall, but the loud laughter that keeps coming from inside the office. FML
by hard_headed / 09/10/2010 at 6:02am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, a few friends and I ran through sprinklers at our school until we were all soaked. Then we were told that they put fertilizer in the water. I'm soaked in manure. Now I know why it tasted weird. FML
by noraidk / 05/26/2010 at 2:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by mathhhh / 02/26/2010 at 12:57pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents. My mother turned to me and said, "Wait you're actually gay? I thought you were just saying that to piss off your father." I came out to her when I was 16, and have confided in her about my past relationships. FML
by EchoDearEcho / 02/04/2010 at 9:52am / Australia (Queensland) / Love
by saintmichi / 01/31/2010 at 7:21pm / Poland (Malopolskie) / Transportation
Today, I went to the dentist after not being there for 3 years. I was told that I had loads of cavities and that I would need to pay $3,000 for a serious mouth surgery. The reason I hadn't been to the dentist in 3 years: I've been married to a dentist for 3 years that said my teeth were "perfect." FML
by bradyman / 12/29/2009 at 10:09am / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at my 10 year high school reunion. I saw the girl I used to have a BIG crush on, so I decided to go over and say hi. She screams when she sees me. Then, she starts hitting me, looking panicked. I control her and ask why she's hitting me. She says 'Everyone thought you were dead!' FML
by Ghost / 12/14/2009 at 4:21pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I found out that my friends were convinced that I was gay. I have known most of them for 3 plus years, they all thought my girlfriend was a special shopping partner. I found this out while announcing my engagement. FML
by Anonymous / 12/03/2009 at 3:23am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/10/2009 at 7:28pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 11/05/2009 at 12:28pm / United States (Washington) / Transportation
by Slayeddd / 10/28/2009 at 9:06am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend of five years gave me the silent treatment, refusing to talk to me or do anything more than glare at me during the entire three hour drive we took this morning. Why? Because I slept with his best friend. In his dream last night. FML
by anonymous / 10/27/2009 at 9:27am / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
- Today, my incredibly self conscious girlfriend decided to get over her fears and let me see her in… Today, my ex told me she still misses having sex with me. Her next text was "but it's still over."… Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend, when I noticed a large piece of broccoli wedged between…