blackpuddle

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Offline (the 08/21/2016 at 5:52am)

blackpuddle

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Buffalo, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 September 1983 (32 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 4452
  • Number of comments : 83
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About blackpuddle : I like penguins.

blackpuddle's page activity

Visits<b>2ophiia</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 5:18pm<b>LalapaloozaChick</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 3:54pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 05/18/2016 at 12:20am<b>mkmon7</b> - the 05/17/2016 at 9:34pm<b>tipoftheday</b> - the 02/09/2016 at 12:39pm<b>Palan541</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 8:50am<b>justmeee12</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:25am<b>blueoctober5591</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 12:01am<b>CorvusVenator</b> - the 02/05/2016 at 4:49pm<b>airassault</b> - the 12/21/2015 at 1:55pm<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/29/2015 at 6:22am<b>pl0xs3rver</b> - the 08/17/2015 at 7:42pm<b>sLaShERR_17</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 2:21pm<b>TmaxxRuler</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:31pm<b>Juicenub</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 1:02pm<b>kaz55</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:01pm<b>MartyMcFlyy</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 3:41pm<b>FYlife604</b> - the 06/09/2015 at 12:47pm

Fucked!<b>Palan541</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:50pm

blackpuddle's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

See all of blackpuddle's badges

blackpuddle's favorite FMLs

Today, I learned that the three secretaries at work make spreadsheets about who uses the toilets, when and for how long, and then make bets on who will take the longest toilet break, who will use it the most often, etc. Now I constantly look at my watch whenever I use the toilets. FML

by toilet on the clock / 06/08/2016 at 6:40am / China (Guangdong) / Work

Today, I heard a noise outside in the middle of the night, so I went out for a look. I'm also pregnant and can't stop farting. I get 2 steps outside and accidentally let a huge one rip, then, from the shadows I hear "Oh my god!" and then running in the opposite direction. I farted away a prowler. FML

by Gassy / 09/21/2015 at 10:45am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

by HiddlePuff / 05/14/2015 at 8:42am / Australia / Work

Today, my window broke and will not close. My room is in a wooded area. I've already chased out two squirrels and a bird and it's only been an hour. I'm afraid I'm gonna wake up like Snow White with all sorts of wildlife sleeping with me. FML

by alekoi / 05/13/2015 at 11:15pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, at a big family dinner, my dad said, "Pfff, gays don't have it hard at all. The things a guy has to do for sex with a girl? Crazy. All a gay guy has to do for sex is become an altar boy!" My husband's side of the family is very religious, and all hell quickly broke loose. FML

by killme / 03/07/2015 at 1:42pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I slept on the plane ride home and had a scary nightmare. I started screaming in my dream, so loud that it shocked the old lady sitting next to me into screaming as well. The whole plane began laughing as we were both screaming. FML

Today, I was carrying my four-month-old son in a checkout line. An older couple behind us remarked that I would spoil my son if I carried him everywhere. My son responded by projectile vomiting all over the wife, then looked at me and giggled. FML

by Pandamomma / 07/21/2014 at 8:58am / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, it's my first day working the graveyard shift at a local hotel. My new boss thought it would be hilarious to sneak up behind me while dressed like the Grim Reaper. I screamed like a little girl and soaked my pants. Apparently he does this to all the new people. FML

by Anonymous / 05/04/2014 at 5:07pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Work

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

by Charlie529 / 02/19/2014 at 10:30am / South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

by unloved cat owner / 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

by sabz21 / 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, I'm trapped in my apartment, due to the fact that five raccoons have decided to sit outside my only door and prevent me from getting out. Every time I look at one, they hiss at me. FML

by RaccoonFever / 01/10/2014 at 6:15am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I watched my father attempt to light a cigar with the stove and end up burning off some hair and eyebrows. He tried to play it cool, said, "Haircuts are too expensive these days anyway." and walked out, his head smoking. This man is a college professor. FML

Today, my job application got denied once again. I looked over it, and saw that my roommate added "screwing over customers" and "hiding dead bodies" under my skills. FML

by Anonymous / 10/20/2013 at 2:21am / United States (California) / Work

Today, after recently complaining that the reality show "The Great Norway Adventure" portrays us as a country of nationalistic rednecks, I saw my drunk dad chasing my uncle on a tractor while bellowing the national anthem at the top of his lungs. FML

by overly nationalistic redneck / 10/19/2013 at 3:37pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous