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birdybirdchirp

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birdybirdchirp

1Fucked!

birdybirdchirpbirdybirdchirp
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4922
  • Number of comments : 69
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About birdybirdchirp : sleep, work, chill.

birdybirdchirp's page activity

Visits<b>nastya_nastenka</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 6:46pm<b>sprinkle90</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 11:04pm<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 7:41am<b>HarryHirsch</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 7:15pm<b>EvilTurtle</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 8:37am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 8:49am<b>gamergirl11200</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 10:15pm<b>bluepanther94</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 3:22pm<b>redlight98</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 8:22am<b>ChloeMeyers_Xo</b> - the 06/15/2015 at 1:18am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 11:58pm<b>Emmamazing</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:55am<b>noelperez1791</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 12:18am<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 9:43pm<b>bballer4life820</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 4:35pm<b>Shannon98</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:55pm<b>Flippier999</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 2:20pm<b>ImZacko</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 1:32pm

Fucked!<b>quinzxl</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 2:38pm

birdybirdchirp's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

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You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of birdybirdchirp's badges

birdybirdchirp's favorite FMLs

Today, after constant avoidance, I saw the man who slept with my mother and caused my parents to get divorced. I desperately wanted to punch him in the face, but instead I had to smile and shake his hand as he gave me my diploma. FML

#21431164
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34612) - you deserved it (2093)

On 06/24/2015 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (12308)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was using the toilet. I was still insanely pissed off over an argument with my girlfriend, which kind of explains why I was wiping my ass so furiously that my fingers broke through the tissue and ended up in my ass, causing me to shriek like a little girl. FML

#21428778
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20267) - you deserved it (12308)

On 06/19/2015 at 9:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35703) - you deserved it (2577)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

#21425434
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (1963)

On 06/13/2015 at 12:34pm - kids - by thanks for the $5 gift voucher (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29447) - you deserved it (8570)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23460) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

#21422808
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26655) - you deserved it (7817)

On 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by Wrabel (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, like every other day, my wife doesn't have time for sex because she's too busy on Facebook. Then she bitched me out because "we never have sex anymore." FML

#21421687
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (2268)

On 06/06/2015 at 9:01am - intimacy - by cockblockedbyFB - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was horny and was waiting for him at my place. 30 minutes later, he still hadn't arrived, so I called him and asked if he was coming. He replied "Already did, right into a kleenex." and hung up. FML

#21420621
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28801) - you deserved it (3592)

On 06/04/2015 at 8:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

#21420563
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30152) - you deserved it (3295)

On 06/04/2015 at 3:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my 14 years old brother and 9 years old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22964) - you deserved it (14562)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29975) - you deserved it (2626)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)



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