Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

birdfreak

Search for a member

birdfreak
  • Town/Country : Texas, USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6132
  • Number of comments : 495
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 19 posted

About birdfreak : Art is my life, music is my everything. I love hookah.
Obsessed with the stars.
Being myself (whoever that is).
Message me if you want, but not because of how "hot" I am. That bothers me.

birdfreak's last visitors

robsmit98Arni792xDarylDixonxCynicallyAliveAyezedminecraf_cowJellybellybeanzRaelthelamb

birdfreak's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML

#16299538
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31245) - you deserved it (4718)

On 05/22/2011 at 4:31pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (19668)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31549) - you deserved it (19668)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I had a parent-teacher conference with my 8 year old son. He'd written "Chuck Norris" as the answer for every question on his test. FML

#16217085
439 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35547) - you deserved it (9883)

On 05/17/2011 at 12:54am - kids - by yobruh -

Today, I noticed an extremely large bug buzzing around my room. After several attempts, I stomped on it with my shoe. I was trying to get a closer look at my victory when it flew into my nostril. Turns out it was just playing dead. FML

#16201073
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27947) - you deserved it (7855)

On 05/16/2011 at 2:26am - misc - by bugnose (woman) -

Today, I woke up so pissed off that I yelled at my cereal. FML

#16128268
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31677) - you deserved it (14224)

On 05/11/2011 at 10:33am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I wore a Super Mario Brothers T-shirt to school that showed a picture of Mario with a mushroom above his head. I got suspended for "referencing illegal drugs". FML

#16125377
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38751) - you deserved it (4221)

On 05/11/2011 at 12:10am - misc - by Sola -

Today, I searched frantically for my glasses for ages. After giving up, I realised I could see perfectly. I had been wearing them the whole time and neither my mother nor my father told me because "it was far too funny" watching me yell "Where the fuck are they?" FML

#16115344
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12975) - you deserved it (40582)

On 05/10/2011 at 6:48am - misc - by Kyle (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my mom and I had an argument about my laziness. We did this as I was eating uncooked rice because I didn't want to have to walk to the kitchen and put it into the microwave. FML

#16104577
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5890) - you deserved it (65654)

On 05/09/2011 at 1:22pm - misc - by wtfseriously (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after I moved into my college dorm three days ago, my roommate is still convinced that she is a cat. FML

#16099079
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22120) - you deserved it (2536)

On 05/08/2011 at 11:22pm - animals - by SMCHR (woman) - Ireland

Today, my fire alarm startled me so badly that I shit myself. FML

#16081373
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31816) - you deserved it (9483)

On 05/07/2011 at 6:27pm - misc - by Mel (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was trying to explain to my friend how smoking weed everyday doesn't make you stupid, I forgot what I was talking about mid-sentence. FML

#16077554
482 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11610) - you deserved it (66108)

On 05/07/2011 at 11:29am - misc - by BCBUDDY - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that I frequently argue with myself and respond back. FML

#16075274
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19609) - you deserved it (9556)

On 05/07/2011 at 3:08am - misc - by sillyfox4lyfe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was sitting with my crush at lunch. Trying to flirt, I tried to stare seductively into his eyes while sucking on my straw. I missed. The straw shot straight up my nose, causing me the worst nose bleed of my life. FML

#16074104
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16156) - you deserved it (37261)

On 05/07/2011 at 12:46am - love - by littlegirl - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: