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birdfreak

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birdfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12740
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

Visits<b>toasty_narwals</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 2:11pm<b>raven83</b> - the 06/11/2015 at 12:34pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 06/08/2015 at 4:42am<b>nerdtron430</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 7:34pm<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/14/2015 at 2:49pm<b>aredvulpix</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 11:16pm<b>Zach_attack_</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 7:19am<b>Cian_1</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 7:07pm<b>missmorggan</b> - the 03/22/2015 at 10:06pm<b>Mukuro</b> - the 03/11/2015 at 1:26pm<b>starlandmarie</b> - the 02/28/2015 at 3:29pm<b>03stroker03</b> - the 02/20/2015 at 9:16pm<b>hasanjk</b> - the 02/18/2015 at 9:51am<b>Amiiii</b> - the 02/14/2015 at 7:33am<b>Nailpolishaholic</b> - the 01/23/2015 at 4:29am<b>KK_Kam</b> - the 01/13/2015 at 10:51pm<b>Sober_CJ</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 5:58pm<b>justanormalone</b> - the 12/23/2014 at 7:44am

birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12877) - you deserved it (55386)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52789) - you deserved it (8212)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13932) - you deserved it (47603)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I shat out a staple. FML

#16576766
336 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37791) - you deserved it (16382)

On 06/09/2011 at 11:04am - health - by wtf - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I had to walk home in nothing but my snuggie and sneakers. FML

#16501427
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18437) - you deserved it (32087)

On 06/04/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I fell asleep in class. I'm the teacher. FML

#16450721
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15012) - you deserved it (43223)

On 06/01/2011 at 12:05pm - work - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I was slammed onto my car, thrown on the ground, and arrested for outstanding warrants from 1979. I was born in 1992. FML

#16449288
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67374) - you deserved it (3749)

On 06/01/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by aarone23 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me while I was driving her to a surprise party where I was going to propose. FML

#16426904
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68737) - you deserved it (3982)

On 05/30/2011 at 10:58pm - love - by efff my life. - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally convinced my girlfriend to let me give her a foot massage after she had a long day at work. Halfway through, she fell asleep. Wanting to see how ticklish she actually was, I started to tickle her feet. She then kicked me straight in the nuts whilst sleeping. FML

Today, against my wishes, my family and I went swimming with sharks. While in the shark cage, a shark got within a few feet of us. My cowardly bowels objected and caused me to shit myself. FML

#16403007
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37714) - you deserved it (10606)

On 05/29/2011 at 2:22pm - animals - by Brie - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were taking a shower together. We were fooling around when she takes the shower head and starts spraying my penis with it. I asked her "what are you doing?" Her response: "I'm watering it to make it grow." FML

#16399874
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60515) - you deserved it (12634)

On 05/29/2011 at 10:04am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of something I said 2 years ago, as a joke. I guess she took a while to get it. FML

#16395878
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43440) - you deserved it (7786)

On 05/29/2011 at 12:41am - love - by Username - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home from work, only to find the babysitter passed out on the couch with a bottle of Jack Daniel's. At some point, it seems my son had taken the liberty of peeing on her while she slept. FML

#16375821
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38136) - you deserved it (5745)

On 05/27/2011 at 6:09pm - kids - by diddlebuag - United States (Ohio)

Today, my genius boyfriend was trying to remember a particular island in the Caribbean that was used by pirates in the past. I offered up Morocco. I heard him facepalm over the phone. FML

#16367949
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7827) - you deserved it (49578)

On 05/27/2011 at 1:46am - love - by Derp-A-Herp (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a firework show. In my kitchen. When my stove blew up. FML

#16364956
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30969) - you deserved it (3969)

On 05/26/2011 at 10:39pm - misc - by Username -



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