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birdfreak

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birdfreak

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 12214
  • Number of comments : 496
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About birdfreak : Stuff about me is supposed to go here, but I have nothing interesting to say...
Have a lovely day!

birdfreak's page activity

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birdfreak's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of birdfreak's badges

birdfreak's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out why my cat hasn't been coming home for regular meals. Apparently, my elderly next door neighbour has forgotten that her cat is dead and puts food out for it every morning. My cat is exploiting her by impersonating her dead cat to get better food. My cat is an asshole. FML

#20110144
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (4846)

On 10/10/2012 at 4:43am - animals - by assholecat (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was texting my girlfriend and asked her for a picture, expecting something provocative. She sent me a picture of her holding a positive pregnancy test. We had sex once. FML

#19758301
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15680) - you deserved it (41902)

On 06/09/2012 at 12:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

#19277345
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10581) - you deserved it (32284)

On 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm - misc - by zztopspinner (man) - United States

Today, my daughter-in-law taught my 4-year-old grandson to burst into tears and yell, "Am I not good enough for you?" whenever I ask her if she's going to have any more children. FML

#18254436
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13512) - you deserved it (59079)

On 11/15/2011 at 10:16am - kids - by Margo (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
318 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33163) - you deserved it (6452)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I was given an entire week of detention for planking on my school desk. FML

#18008479
321 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (72693)

On 10/17/2011 at 6:05pm - misc - by planking champion (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my wife showed me what was missing in our marriage with a Twilight video montage. FML

#17695562
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35147) - you deserved it (4303)

On 09/08/2011 at 8:52am - love - by I_dislike_Twilight (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was pulled over for a DWI. The police officer was drunk. FML

#17663371
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (4081)

On 09/04/2011 at 6:10pm - misc - by ironic driver - United States (Texas)

Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML

#17206347
355 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (10368)

On 07/21/2011 at 5:24pm - love - by toni405 - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (43294)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (23780)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (23780)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I saw myself on the news. I was one of the random passers by they had filmed for their story on the "Fat Epidemic." FML

#16741738
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39542) - you deserved it (23780)

On 06/19/2011 at 5:51am - health - by Username - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was stuck in stand-still traffic for 5 minutes, before realizing I had stopped behind a parked car. FML

#16624894
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12870) - you deserved it (55361)

On 06/12/2011 at 9:51am - misc - by El Stupido - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52730) - you deserved it (8206)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)



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